Light in the Darkness
by JustThisOnce2346
Summary: Will she be his light? Could she be his light? Could she even handle being his like?
1. Chapter 1

Everyone was excited it was one of the college victorious after party like after every match. They have won against last year's champions league winning team, defeating the Hawks.

Rey was here with Rose, her best friend. Rose is pretty popular in high school. Many girls wanted to be like her. Rey was still confused why she chose her..

They were treated like kings today. They ended up sitting in the middle of room. Their fans encircled them.

Rey sighed, it was typical high school party night. With all kind of stuff to get high, get wasted and getting laid.

Rey was feeling little uncomfortable she was wearing the micro mini skirt and it was freezing tonight.

Rose was walking ahead carrying herself with grace. She turns to glance over her shoulder to see if Rey is behind her and pauses to hold her hand out for her to take.

Rey smiled and took it, Rose returned the goofy laughing and pulled Rey forward to link their arms together.

"I think we should go inside Rey-Rey. We have enough fresh air I think."

Rey gave her small smile. The thing was Poe was trying to get her attention but Rey wasn't sure herself. She was afraid of some things.

They both entered inside again. The couples were dancing and grinding together on the dance floor and the smell of drinks and expensive cologne and perfumes. This was a place busting with energy. Rey should be happy too, right? Everyone else seems to be. Why not she?

Rey knew Rose was trying to set her up with Poe, another close friend. But Rey wasn't sure about getting into any kind of romantic relationship.

"Rey-Rey! ," suddenly Rose's mouth is at her ear as they near the football team, "there's Poe over the corner. Slip in beside him and thank him for the ride he gave you yesterday when you were dead tired. Just be casual and…" she pauses to look up at Rey because she's tiny from her.

"Damn Rey-Rey! you're going to fuck this up, aren't you?" she frowns and shakes her head.

Rey rolled her eyes sometimes Rose can be more difficult than ever. Rey walk through the crowd towards the peers When she finally reach Poe's side.

"Hi beautiful," he winks at Rey, and to her utter shock he leaned closer their lips inches away. "I knew that you would come to join my celebration and party."he wears a half smirk while he says this and then grabs his drink from the table and chugs.

Waves of sexy brownish hairs. Build physical appearance with cool personality, Poe Dameron was totally worth as hot boy. Throw in the fact that he's rich, privileged and the town's star quarterback, and you have most eligible bachelor.

But Rey was not interested in this kind of society web.

Rey may be a nerd that hangs out with the popular crowd and is invited to all the cool parties, but in no way do she get red carpet treatment at school or the same respect either. She never really be able to be one of them. Not even being Rose's best friend could help her when it came to the constant cold shoulders she received from the rest of the popular squad.

She was rich but after her mother's death her father didn't cared about money anymore.

Her mother was her shadow against the harsh cruel world. But she was left alone at the age of five when she died.

She remembered when she first joined the high school. She was invisible. She was quiet and mousy and sometimes, even now, she still was the same nerd who likes to read and write and want to become a writer.

She didn't mind at first, but eventually she got tired of having no friends and nothing to do on the weekends. She also got tired of her dad always asking her to mingle with friends and hanging out. He was not the same after her mother's death but Rey knew he was always worried about her.

Being the part of popular kids and the it girls wasn't her plan.

The only easy way in for her was through Rose when she offered her friendship to her, because there was no way in hell that she would have gotten a football player to date her back then.

Rose Tico, one of the most popular girls in school, has been friends with Rey since first year since she stood up against the bullying. Rose knew she was going to be best friends and she was very fond of Rey. They were more like a sisters than a friend.

And from the next day Rey became one of the popular girl.

X_X

Rey!." Fin smiled when he saw her approaching the athletic table. Fin was Rey"s best guy friend. He was the sweetest guy she liked here.

Rey gave a weak smile to Fin. She was nervous to strike any conversation.

She didn't like the idea of being persistent or forcing into the relationship. But Poe never understood this concept was foreign to him. If he is liking it he would claim it.

She was in his party so he thinks she belongs to him now. Rey needs to get out of the situation.

"Hey Fin." Rey saw hialso came giving her his best smile. She still focused on Fin. FIn was secretly crushing on Rose but was too afraid to approach her. He was good looking but still Rose don't date the nerd boys.

Rey felt Poe put his hand on her waist. So the neanderthal claim was made already.

"Fin want to drink something?" Rey tried her best sweet voice. But before Fin could reply Poe's grip on her waist tighten and Fin gave them a smile.

"You guys hang out I need to sort out something with the dj. He is being a shit."

And now Rey was left alone with Poe.

His fingers now touching the soft skin of her stomach.

Rey sucked in a quick breath which makes him chuckle like she's done something cute. "Poe…"

She gulped and close her eyes while his fingers trace circles on her waist.

She felt his breath at her earlobe , then behind her ear and then down her neck. She shiver at the sensation- it feels really good when he does that. Then she remember they are in a room full of people who are probably pretending not to see what's going on between them. But she know that come Monday morning? Everyone at school will assume they hooked up.

Actually, we probably will. Rose says she need to lose her virginity before she become a nun. And in Rose's eyes Poe is perfect for the job. It's funny because he was one of Rose's childhood friend and Rey knew he got good heart.

Rey used to fantasize about being touched by a guy and to have an experience about being a woman. But she never wanted to end up with bad guy.

Her body may be experiencing the magic of a forbidden touch but she was not a girl who do this kind of outrageous things.

"Poe, stop," she whimper and turned her face to look at him.

He's so close their noses touching and it should be romantic and cute and Rey should blush, but she was terrified in that moment. Her heart feels like it's going to burst through her chest. It's suffocating in the party and she feel like she can't breathe.

Rey just only prayed Rose would not be pissed for ruining this chance to get Poe.

"What?" he whispers against her cheek and presses a soft kiss there. "What's wrong?" his voice is low and thoughtful but Rey know he honestly doesn't care.

He thinks she was just nervous, which she probably was. His hand slides out from her waist and reaches up to cup her face. "Hey," he says to her more softly than before.

Rey gulp and stare at her hands in her lap. If she look up, they will kiss. If they kiss, they are together. Everyone knows Poe is a relationship kind of guy. He doesn't do casual dating, he skips the entire 'talking' process and dives straight into coupling.

Rey knew Poe would not understand the concept of being turned down but right now she wasn't sure about them. But Poe took her silence differently and took it as positive signs of approval. He just kissed her neck and licked her softly.

"POE!" Rey yelp at him when she realize he's just licked her.

"Aww for fuck sake don't be shy Rey. You can relax with me. It's just us baby." Poe gave her his assuring smile, "And sorry for the forward moves I just can't control myself with you wearing this skirt and damn."

Rey don't take compliments very well, so she blush and turned her head to look anywhere else but at him. Luckily, Fin chooses right then to ask him about upcoming games for season finale and Poe turned back into captain mode forgetting all the flirting. His hand, however, goes back to her expose legs and lingers there without movement except for his thumb which strokes her soft skin over and over again.

She closed her eyes, take a deep breath and when she open them her entire world froze.

Her hazel eyes were locked with dark brown ones.

Wild messy black hair, deadly brown eyes and dangerous look of angry devil on his face.

**_Kylo Ren._**

He scares the ever-living shit out of her. The last time she had seen him, he was beating some guy close to death while everyone else cheered the fight on. She been so disgusted that she left without ever remembering she was there to hang out with Rose.

From now on, every time she see him, she can only ever think of that night and the way his eyes had gone black with rage. Right now he's talking to two other guys that Kato Ren and Shiro Ren. The trio was inseparable. They were the walking death for those who mess with them.

They are called the Knights of Ren.

"Oh,shit yeah. Knights of Ren here," Rey hear someone say with a mixture excitement and relief. Clearly, someone needs their next fix. She turn to see who it is, but suddenly Rose materialized with excitement next to her.

"I'm ready to go," she says in bored tones, but her eyes keep flickering to where Kato Ren is leaning against the jukebox in the middle of the room.

Rey stare at the scary guy with wild mane of sand colored hair, Kato for a second and sure enough, lightening fast, his eyes land on Rose before looking away. Rey's fingers are curling around Rose's wrist and she was pulling her outside the party faster than you can say what the fuck?

Which is exactly what Rey say when they're both outside and beside her car.

"What's with those secret looking Rose-Bud?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she rolls her eyes and unlocks the doors to her car with the click of a button, "get in or we'll be late."

Rey slide into the passenger seat, but she was not giving up. So she asked Rose again, only she more clear this time. "What is going on between you and that Satan's next heir Kato Ren?"

Rose drove to their destination. "There is nothing going on between me and freaking Kato Ren." she laughs as if it's absurd. Rey would even dare to ask.

Rey knew Rose was hiding something she bit her tongue and let it go. For now. She knows better than to mess with guys like Kato. He'd use her and spit her out. She'd be the one left picking up the pieces and trying to put them back together again. Rose stop at a red light close to school and Rey roll down her window and lean her head against the frame so that she can stick her face outside.

She heard the rumble of red Ferrari. Rey didn't need to look at the owner because she knew it belongs to Kylo Ren.

Their cars were barely a foot apart Rey can smell the cigarette smoke and know that if she were to open her eyes right now she'd be at eye level with Kylo.

Their was nothing between her and Kylo Ren. She had seen him in clubs, parties and sometimes she had share drink and cigarettes with him but just for once and it was accidentally. Despite that encounter, she don't know him enough to open her eyes and casually say hello.

No matter how bad a part of her wants to.

He revs his engine hard enough to make it growl irritatingly loud and she know he's doing it on purpose. He wants attention. So Rey pulled back into the car and roll the window up. She can smell the diesel fuel injection mixed with weed and tobacco.

Her nose wrinkles up, and when she finally look at him he's staring right the her. Rey tried to avoid him to look away but it's like she's paralyzed. She literally can't remove her eyes from his. He licks his lips and takes a drag from his cigarette, all the while never looking away from her. Then he flicks it outside his car and leans forward outside his window to wink at her devilishly, the light turns green and he drove off.

Rey took a deep breath which she was holding the entire time and turned her head to see that Rose have been watching the entire time.

"I'm sorry, but," she blinks back at her and scoffs, "what the fuck was with that eye fucking, huh Rey-Rey? "

"He is just a bad guy from other side of city. We do not want to have any rumors Rose-Bud and I don't even know that guy." Rey shrugged hoping Rose would drop the topic and hopefully she did and drive to her house.

Rey saw her father was home but he barely sleeps. He was working on a case of a widow mother whose son was taken from her. Rey walked into her house and kissed her mother's photo and went upstairs to her room.

Since she lost her mother she lost her smiling and laughing father too.

X_X

Today was math exam and tracking in sports class. she had forgotten about the race. She needs her P. E uniform. She was really nerd after all. Preparing for Math and forgotten about the sports.

Rey knew Rose cared about perfection. She was trying to leave unnoticed to get her P. E dress but Rose caught her. She was really bad in these illegal things.

"What the fuck, Rey-Rey?" Rose shouts so loud she draws the attention of some of the people in the stands. "I hope you don't lose in games and sports being a nerd does not suit your ass. Now get dress and come to run with me."

Rey cringed, " Yes ma'am!"

Her arms cross over her chest and she sighs in exasperation, "Fine, I'll be waiting for you and I am giving you fifteen minutes get ready. OK."

Rose can be really scary even she was tiny. Rey's lips are pressed together too tightly to give her even a fraction of a smile so instead she just turn around and jog to the locker rooms. She knew Rose really wanted to make sure that no one bully her anymore so she keep making her do all sorts of things of elite society.

Rey walked to the locker room.

Inside the locker room the lights are dim because no one is back here. It looks like the makings of a thriller movie so she quickly spin the dial on her locker. She ended up squealing and jumping backwards where the things and junk fall down from her locker. Rey fell down with the impact of the junk falling over her. She fell down and hurt her legs.

"Shit," Rey groaned and cleared up her mess she threw away the junk and took out her uniform and slams the locker room doors open and storm down the hall towards the track field, she don't even realize that the air has gotten hazy. Or that it smells like a mint and cigarettes, or that amidst the clouds of smoke, leaning against the wall is..

**_Kylo Ren_**

Rey come to a complete stop two feet in front of him and blink in confusion. What the hell is he doing back here? Who is he waiting for? Why is he smoking here of all places where anyone could walk by and turn back around to tell a teacher? Is he crazy? The image of his blind rage at that last party she'd seen him at flits behind lashes and she took a small step back.

Shit! Shit!

_I need to get out_

Her mind was on alert. Her eyes dart around in search of someone,anyone else that might increase her chances of not being attacked by this guy. She knew Kylo Ren was hell of a fighter and his martial arts were well known in town. He could easily finish her in a single punch. She knew he was watching her standing against the column with tilt head and dragging the cancer stick. All of sudden her irrational fear makes him chuckle as he sucks on the last of his cigarette and crushed the bud under his shoes.

Now he was free, Rey don't say anything and neither does he. Her feet don't move when he pushes off the wall and advances towards her achingly slow maybe giving her last chance to escape from him. Rey watch his cheeks hallow out and his lips purse before he blows his smoke directly into her face.

Immediately Rey flinch and start to cough, waving a hand in front of her face before she quickly pull myself together and scowl at him.

"What the hell?" Rey snapped.

He smirks and reaches into the inside of his leather jacket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. His eyes never left her face as he smacks the top of the box against his palm before taking one out and igniting the end. She anticipate for him to blow it on her face again, but instead he moves close and raises his chin so that he exhales skyward. His eyes are still on her as they travel up and down her body deliberately slow. She really hated her school dress with mini micro skirt.

Her heart is hammering away inside her chest. She was nervous, that's for sure. She feel like she did when Poe's hand was on her skin earlier. But only this time it's like a fire has been lit beneath her skin. He reaches his free hand out and curves a knuckle down the side of her face. Rey gulp and hold her breath, too afraid that it will come out shaky and he'll know how he's affecting her right now.

His touch was different from any other guy who has touched her. Well she was still virgin so she didn't have that much experience but her body remembered the touch which stir the storm inside her.

"I waited for you," he says unexpectedly. She turn away from his hand and quickly his fingers wrap around her chin to bring her face back around harshly.

"Were you playing me?" he snaps and just like that Rey was scared again. She was just a normal girl trying to make it peacefully in high school but she was tangled into the mess with Kylo Ren. She was scared of him.

He sees how wide her eyes snap open and releases her chin only to cradle her face between his hands, "Hey, " he mutters softly and flicks his cigarette to the floor, "I'm sorry."

Rey shook her head and felt her throat tighten up. She keep playing that scene in her head over and over with him and that poor guy. A guy who had every right to come and talk to her that night because he just thought she was cute. For all intensive purposes he was who she was supposed to talk to that night. She'd actually been invited to that party because of him.

He was good guy. Rose had set it up this blind date for Rey , but he was late and had Rey waited for 45 fucking minutes before she went out back and bummed a cigarette from none other than Kylo Ren.

That was the first time the angel met the devil.

"I don't even know you," Rey tried to push him away, "you freaked me the hell out that night, Kylo." Rey pause and take a deep breath. Rose was waiting and it's been more than fifteen minutes she would be looking for her soon if she don't go back out to the field.

"Rey! But that guy—" He said in deep frustrated voice which makes you curl your toes. But Rey wasn't in the mood for it.

"I'm not your girlfriend!" she shout at him.

His black hairs were messed up by running hands frequently. His brown eyes darken and his jaw clenches in the same way it had that night when he'd told that guy to get the fuck away from her.

Rey was shivering in fear. He was ticking Time bomb. She took a step away from him and then another and right when she about to turn and jog back out to the field,

Yes freedom.

Suddenly she was jerked backwards and slammed up against the concrete wall.

"Do you…" he pauses and buries his face in her hair while his hands untucked her shirt and directly squeezing her waist almost painfully. "Do you have any idea how long I've-" he exhales a shaky breath and slides one of his hands up her waist and over her breasts to cup her face and tilt her face towards his.

Rey knew he means to kiss her, it was the same situation like she was with Poe last night at the party. And just like last night if she kissed Kylo Ren right now they'll be together. Because she don't know who Kylo Ren is, but she ft a invisible pull towards him.

She know he's intense and completely possessive and territorial. She has watched him over the years, unintentionally picking up on his habits.

She remember that night, the same way she remember how his lips felt against her and how his mouth tasted. What it feels like when he touched her with his hands. All of sudden Rey had a hard time breathing.

"I have to go, please don't do this." Rey mutter helplessly.

He slides his nose down the side of her face and hovers his lips over hers. "No you don't," he whispers without kissing her.

"Yes I do. Please let me go," she beg him with her eyes clenched shut. "I can't do this right now, okay? I just—oh!" she gasp when he thrusts his hips against her and she feel every inch of him pressed along her body. She open her eyes and whimper every time he rubs against her. Their bodies fitting like a mold, causing enough friction between them to start a fire.

"If I see him touch you like that again?" his eyes stare daggers at her own before he leans down and whispers into my ear, "I will break his limbs and kill him in most horrible way."

She frozen in his arms. He pulls back and saw that his face has morphed into something that slaps her mouth shut tight. There is so much raw hate and anger. Possession and jealousy. On what grounds does he even have the right to feel these sorts of emotions? It scared her.

Would he really hurt Poe? Rey closed her eyes and breathe through her nose. Of course he would. Her eyes are still closed when she felt Kylo's fingers sliding around her neck and then up into her hair to cradle the back of her head.

She was tired and just leaned into his touch. Her eyes lashes to flutter closed and breathe through her parted lips slowly. She can feel his breath on her face and then his nose at her earlobe.

They exhale together and he moves to press his forehead is against her. It's calming and alarming at the same time—intense. She clutch at the front of his shirt to engulfed his warmth and suddenly her lips were caught by his into a fierce hot kiss.

She moaned like those experienced girls from the movies who made love. Rey knew only he can make her act like a little slut, this naughty and bad seductive diva that she was and let go of her inhibitions, there is no use trying to sprinkle water over a blaze this strong.

She crashed her mouth against his and suck his tongue into her mouth. Her left leg rises up to curl around the back of his thigh to pull him closer to her. He grunts and rubs his jean covered hard on against her lower abdomen which turns her right on.

She wanted him so badly.

What the fuck? How does he do that? She was a virgin, a fucking prude and yet she was more than ready to fuck Kylo Ren right here in the hall at school. She heard the crowd roaring for football match with girls practice their track on the next ground. Rose was going to kill her. But all she comprehend is the fact that Kylo now has one of his hands grabbing her ass and the other is still in her hair.

"Let's get out of here," he whispers against her lips. "If we don't leave now, I'm going to rip your clothes off and take you right up against this wall," he's panting and rubbing and Rey was hot and bothered and she want him everywhere. His words made her body shiver because she knew he's not lying to her.

His hand leaves her ass and she frowned against his lips because she want it back, but then she feel the tips of his fingers teasing her in the hottest and wettest spot between her legs.

"Oh fuck," she cried out and it echoes in the empty hallway. Her arms tightly wrapped around his neck.

Her moaning just makes him grind into her harder and now they're both panting and biting and grabbing and stroking. His fingers go from feather light teases to forceful rubbing and she find that she want to do the same thing to him. So she did, she took one of her hands from his wild pink hairs and slide it down his chest while they're still going at it crazily like two horny ass teenagers. He groans when her fingers tug at his belt and he pulls back a bit so that she can pull at it and then one of his fingers makes it way past her panties and OH GOD!

"BEN!," She exhale his name shakily and press her forehead into his shoulder. She shudder and rub herself against his finger harder and faster and then suddenly there's a loud sound that's coming from his back pocket.

"Fuck! ignore it,Focus on me Rey ." he says against her mouth and tries to slip another finger but then there's a voice calling his name and like she was electrocuted she quickly shove him as far away from herself as she can.

Her eyes dart around wildly in search of the owner of the voice and Kylo Ren curses under his breath.

"I'll be out in a minute!" he shouts down the hall.

"Well hurry the fuck up! We just beat the shit out of these Pussies boys, man! Shiro was fucking amazing out there! We're getting him wasted then we're getting him laid, he deserves it."

Rey recognized a voice over his phone while listening to his conversation.

**_Kato_**.

Her eyes widen when she realize that she missed her track practice and the whole second half of the fucking football game. Why the hell hadn't Rose come looking for her? She tried to slip away, but Kylo's hand was on her wrist gripping her hard as he pulls her over to him.

"Where are you going?" his eyes narrow at her.

Rey scoffed and tried to brush her hairs from her face but her wrist was trapped in his grip but he noticed it and tucked her hair himself, "Where do you think?"

His face hardens. "I wasn't fucking around when I said I'd break his arm if he touches you again."

Rey gulp and nod her head because right then all she wanted is to get the hell away from him and out of this hallway without getting killed by the devil name Kylo. He presses something small and solid into her hand and lifts her face head with a finger under my chin, "I'm coming back for this and don't you fucking dare let any fuckers touch or hit on you. Stay with your girls," he says and then shoves his tongue in her mouth to kiss her breathless before he's off following the direction Kato was at.

Rey take in a shaky breath and look down to see his iPhone was in her hand she tried to open it but it was lock she tried but then she tried one combination and she was shocked when it opened.

The password was **_REY_**..


	2. Chapter 2

She wasn't able to function. She was getting anxious with every passing second. She wasn't able to sleep last night even it's been a day only but Rey was getting paranoid. His lock screen password was her name. He was dangerous and scared the shit out of her. But some insane part of her body want to be punish by his harsh love as he take her in different ways..

Stop it Rey. Your mother did not raise you to be this shameless. And his phone was vibrating non stop. She did not dare to look in the private life of Kylo Ren. She didn't want to be in more mess.

But the problem was she could not leave his phone anywhere. If her father finds out hell would break. He was the attorney, a man of law and Kylo was someone he would definitely hate and won't let his only daughter mingle with bad boy like him.

She decides to ditch the school taday and rest at home.

Around noon Rose messaged her about the party at Carla's house. She still need return this crappie junk mobile. But she was afraid if this got out that she is attached to Kylo. Her peaceful life would be over.

Nice, pure and quiet Rey does not hang out with loud and violent assholes like Kylo Ren, which was why she didn't like the way Kato Ren looked at her best friend Rose. She won't let Rose meet that idiot.

Zzzzzz Zzzzzz

But right now she looked at the vibrating phone over her table. Suddenly she remembered the party. She should get ready.

X_X

Rey was frustrated she couldn't move or enjoy her time. Afraid if someone find out the reason why her ass on constant vibration tonight.

"Rey-Rey! Why aren't you dancing or enjoying. It's a best place to get laid. Here take this." Rose gave her red plastic cup.

"What is this?" Rey looked at the drink and hope nothing is in there. Because you can't trust party drinks.

Rose rolls her eyes . "Don't worry, it's not spiked."

Rey laughed hardly and was about to drink when a vibration hit again

Zzzzzz Zzzzzz.

Unfortunately, that's when Rose decided to put her hand on her waist for a side hug when she felt it and took out Kylo Ren's phone. "What the hell is this?" she shrieks at Rey .

Rey tried to pull back but she's freakishly strong right now. "Let go," Rey grimace and yank herself free of her rock solid grip.

"Ouch! Rose-Bud. That hurt!" Rey scowl at her and cradle her injured wrist to her chest.

"Whose phone is this?" she demands to answer her truthfully.

Rey can't lie to Rose and she knew she would find out one day. So she decided to tell her. "It's Kylo Ren's phone."

"I knew it," she scoffs and with her hands on her hips she stares me down. "How long?" she replies through gritted teeth.

"Huh?" Rey asked confusedly.

Her face grows red, "You and Kylo," she growls impatiently. "How long have you been fu—"

"It's not like that!" Rey nearly screamed at her accusation.

Rose looks around if someone heard them.

Nobody was looking they were safe.

Zzzzzz Zzzzzz.

"Are you still a virgin?" she blurts out before Rey can do or say anything else.

Rey's mouth drops open in shock. It's so something she would say but she wasn't prepared to hear it outright. She like to beat around the bush while Rey always so freaking forward. How they are best friends, she will never know.

"Well?" she shoves Rey's shoulder to get her to start talking.

"Do I look like who had sex? Huh Rose?" Rey questioned her.

She pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth and chews quietly, "Then why are you and Kylo…" she pauses, "you and Kylo Ren?"

Rey want to scream right now because she was questioning the same thing over and over why him. She wanted to take all the anger out. "I am so fucking confused, Rose . I don't even know where to begin." her voice grows shaky at the end.

Zzzzzz Zzzzzz.

She's almost ready to throw this fucking thing into the deep end of the pool in front of her. Seriously she can't believe someone could be in such high demand as Kylo Ren.

Zzzzzz Zzzzzz.

"Have you guys…" Rose trails a fingers over the arm of her chair, "done anything else?"

Rey breathe through her nose really loud, "Not really? I mean, we've kissed and touched but—" Rey stop talking when she thought about where his finger had been a few hours before she was sitting where she was now.

She look up to meet Rose's intense stare, and decide she would not tell her anything more until she finds out where she stands with Kylo. "But that's it," she finish with a mumble and stare down at his phone on her lap.

"When did this start? How long has it been going? Does anyone else know?" she blurts out question after question before gasping and sitting up straight in her chair, "Oh my god! Is he the reason you were so fidgety about Poe?"

She wants to skip talking about Poe.

Rey groan and shake her head, "No."

She frowns and tilts her head. "Then what's going on, Rey ?"

She sounds so concerned that it makes Rey feel really bad . But what the hell she was supposed to say? She don't know anything

Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz

"Stupid fucking phone!" Rey scream, and she was just about on the verge of tossing it.

"Rey-Rey this time it's your phone vibrating." she pointed to her purse.

Rey was officially super pissed, "What?" she asked to the caller harshly.

"Whoa," Poe exhales with a whistle, "what's up with you?"

Rey didn't don't need this right now. "Oh, hey Poe." Inwardly she groan, and outwardly she just closed her eyes and shook her head.

_Why me? Why now?_

"Hey," he sounds much more cheerful than she had expect from someone who has just lost the first game of the season. "So, uh, where are you?" he clears his throat and she hear someone coughing in the background followed by soft laughter. No wonder he's so fucking calm and aloof. He's high.

"Babe?" Poe questions her silent end of the line. For some reason it really irritates her that he Calls her babe when for the past three years he barely paid attention to her. Now all of the sudden she was 'babe' and 'baby' and 'sexy.' she never thought the day would come where she didn't want to hear those words come out of his mouth in regard to her.

"REY!" Rose suddenly slaps her leg, and it stings, because it's cold outside and she still in her black shorts.

"Oh," she cleared her throat, "um.. what?" she asked him. she'd completely forgotten what the hell he asked her.

His soft laugh is raspy and it sounds kind of sexy, but then she gulp because it reminds her of the way Kylo laughs at her. Or when he taunts her or tries to intimidate her. When she shiver and bite her lip to keep from moaning and he laughs from deep in the back of his throat and she can feel it in his chest because it's pressed against hers and—

"Where are you?" Poe asks again.

Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz.

"I'm ah…" Rey clear her throat a second time, "I'm at Carla's house. You know. At her… party?"Fuck,I'm a such a shitty mess. Why do I feel so damn guilty? And who do I feel guilty for? Poe or Kylo?

"Sorry I'm not there," he explains, and he actually sounds sorry, "but a lot of us guys just didn't feel like celebrating much tonight. 'Cause of… you know." Now he sounds embarrassed and angry at the same time. Wow, I didn't even know that was possible.

"But you can come here," he says hopefully.

Rey chew on her lip nervously, "Where is 'here'?" she asked him warily. Why it is that she's even asking him this is beyond her. She had been warned to stay the fuck away from him, per a sexily psychotic Kylo.

"Uhh…" he trails off and for as minute she think she lost him to the dark side of marijuana. "Fin's house." she turn to see Rose bobbing her head up and down. She wants to go. It's fucking boring here without the guys anyways.

Zzzzzz Zzzzzz.

"Yeah," she bit out uncomfortably, "yeah alright, I'll see you there. I've got Rose with me."

"Alright then, I'll see you in a few." Rey can feel his grin from where she was now.

Rey starts to fidget even more, "Yep. Okay, uh… bye."

Click. She don't even give him a chance to respond. She stared at Rose with big wide eyes as she puts her hands first on her arms, and then on her shoulders, before she suddenly slaps her upside her head. "Get it together, idiot !" she shouts in her face and yanks Rey up to her feet with her.

Zzzzzz Zzzzzzzz.

Oh, for the love of sweet baby Jesus! Does he even know that many people? Wait, he's a dealer. She snorted to herself and shake her head of course he knows that many people.

57 miss calls, 677 fb notifications, 345 messages.

Christ.. He got a huge friend circle.

She only had his phone for close to 18 hours.

"That's in-fucking-sane," Rose comments over Rey's shoulder.

Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz

Rey rolled her eyes as yet another text message pulls up and for about 30 seconds the screen shows us a preview of the message.

**_It reads: U want 2 ignore me after last nite? FINE! But don't come knocking my door at 3 am bcuz ur lonely bcuz I am so over it!_**

Rey was frozen and she blinked and entered her name to see the sender name it was Phasma.

Kylo was with a girl last night? What were they doing? It was late. What did I think they were doing? Playing cards?

How stupid and naïve can I be? Rey thought with anger and shake her head and give the phone to Rose who just looks at her in confusion.

"hoe messages," she said to her.

She frowns and looks down at the device in her hands, "Maybe…"

She snort and shake her head, "This is exactly why I was being such a bitch about the very idea of you and Kato."

She rolls her eyes and makes this weird gurgling sound to show her she's frustrated. "Oh God! I told you there was nothing going on between us! So I checked him out and he caught me, and then he checked me out back! He's a beast. Rey. I can look, okay? I know I can't touch."

Rey nod her head because, damn her, she's right. She was the one who looked and touched. She touched too much and now she's fucked. But whatever, it was one night and it was one lost moment in a dark hallway at school. He's a pusher and a dangerous guy and he scares the hell out of her anyways.

"I'm sorry Rey-Rey," Rose links her arm with Rey and leads her to the back gate so that they can slip out unnoticed. She puts her head on her shoulder and she nod and touch her head to hers as they walk to her car.

_**He spent a night with a girl**__._

Rey hate that she even care about anything that has to do with that bastard. She have a perfectly good replacement waiting for her at Fin's house... Poe.

If Kylo can spend a night then she can get a guy also..

Rey couldn't forget that bastard was out hooking up with a girl. Well she don't care at all. He means nothing to her at first place.

She had taken the battery out from Kylo's phone so she don't have to hear it anymore. She figure out how to get it back to him later.

Right now she was going to take her frustration. Poe was sitting on the couch and dare to say he looked cute under the dim light of the room. He stood and approached her from behind. Snaking his arm on her waist. Her back is to his chest and their legs are tangled while he slowly plays with her hair and it makes her want to curl up into him like a kitten.

Somewhere upstairs there's a crash and she hear Rose's shrill laughter soon after Fin yells something and then there's more laughter. She only laughs like that around Fin.

Rey wished that Rose and Fin would end up together. They deserve to be together.

But deep down her heart wants the touch and feelings she experienced yesterday in school hallway.

Poe's hands are getting brave again. He keeps running his hands up and down her arms and casually his fingers linger a bit to caress the sides of her breasts. Won't lie. It feels pretty damn good when he does that but it didn't gave the same sensation as Kylo's fire touch.

Rey was going to forget him. She embrace Poe tightly he smirked at her response, because he gets braver with every stroke. Soon he's touching the skin between her top and her skirt. He pushes his fingers high and higher until the thing is bunched up under her breasts, and his breath is at her ear and then he's kissing her neck. Rey know What she have to do next.

Rose told her that guys like when the girl takes a little control. Not too much, but enough to seem sexy and spunky.

She was not sexy, nor she was spunky. But she had no complaints in the past—mind you, she only ever had four other worthwhile sexual encounters. Two were the best and both with damn Kylo.

So far, he's wiped out the competition.

She actually a little eager to see how Poe does in this department. Is he was nowhere near as experienced in this department as he is. He's been with Cora for almost three years and everyone knew she was a total freak nasty kind of girl. Oh great, now she made herself nervous.

She pushed him back in bed and straddling him. He looked like a kid in Disneyland. Rey leaned back and kissed him fiercely.

I will not think about Kylo when I am with Poe. Kylo is an asshole and a player. Poe is nice and loyal. He's adorable.

"There's a zipper in the back," she said softly, "can you…?"

"Y-yeah—yes. Yes, I will unzip it for you."

See? Adorable.

"I can't believe you are going to have sex with me tonight on your own."

"Mmm, mmm," Rey shook her head to tell him no. "We're not having sex."

"We're not?" he sounds disappointed, but he's trying to unhook her bra.

"No," she grab his face with her hands, "we're not. Not tonight."

This puts a smile back onto his face, "Are you…" he suddenly looks worried, "you're not a virgin, are you?"

"Shut up and kiss me, Poe. This is not social hour," she roll my eyes and he nods his head up and down. "Take this off, "she pull at his shirt. "It's only fair," she taunt him.

"What about if I take my pants off, too?" he teases her back.

Rey giggle and wiggle her eyebrows, "What if you do?"

But he paused for a second and bend to take something out of his back jeans pocket.

Rey looked at him confused. He chuckles and shakes his head, "I won't force you into relationship but would you accept this ring. Please."

He was totally opposite of Kylo, cute, polite and sweet but little clingy but that was ok.

Poe stares at her and she realize she haven't given him an answer yet. She know she's supposed to say yes. This is what she wanted, after all. He's Poe Dameron. Her future, life and everything will be secure. No scandal or mess.

So why she was hesitating?

"Stop it! I told you its just me and Fin that are here!" Rey heard Rose yell from upstairs. Her body stills and tightens.

_Oh my god_.

"_Fin, tell him! She's—hey you can't just come in here!"_

_._

**_"I know she is here."_**

Deep gruff sexy frustrated voice booming from stairs.

Rey know it's Kylo the second she hear the pounding of his footsteps coming closer to the basement. She looked at her self thank God she only took her top off. She zip it back in record time.

"Get dressed!" she yell at Poe and throw his shirt at his face.

Her hair is a mess, her lips are swollen and her skirt is beyond rumpled. It's gonna take some serious heat at the dry cleaners to get these wrinkles out. Footsteps roar down the stairs just as Poe buttons his shirt.

"What the fu—" he doesn't get to finish.

Kylo is in the room and he moves so swiftly that he has Poe by his throat before she even comprehend what's going on. She screams and cry out just like one of those annoying girls in the movies would.

She slap a hand over her mouth and sob into it. Fin flies down the stairs and Rose is fast on his heels. She's at her side and pulling Rey into her arms in seconds.

Rey can't see exactly what's going on because the lights are dim in the room, but she does see Kylo's fist repeatedly hitting Poe, and she see Fin struggling to pull him away.

Then she watch in horror as Kylo throws out his elbow to hit Fin in his throat. Rose flinches, and Rey know that she wants to rush to Fin. But he's a strong guy, and even though he probably can't breathe right now he's back on his feet and trying to grab Kylo.

"Fin!" Rose shouts at him. "Kylo, stop!" she screams as loud as she can and then runs back up the stairs.

She don't know why the hell she would leave, but she can't bring herself to move and join her. Rey frozen where she stood, clutching her face with her hands and crying like a stupid bitch.

This was her fault. This is all her fucking fault. He warned her He warned her! Then suddenly she have her fucking voice back and Rey gained control over her shaking body. She ran to grab him.

"KYLO! —STOP!" she sob as she scream at him.

Her fingernails dig into his flexed bicep so hard she feel them delve into his skin. It doesn't faze him. He keeps trying to hit Poe and Poe keeps trying to hit him and Fin keeps trying to pull them apart. Rey wedge her arm between them and shove Poe as hard as she can, which isn't very hard at all.

He doesn't budge.

"**_Please Kylo.. Please."_** she begged for last time in low voice

Kylo finally snaps back into focus when they lock their eyes and she beg him to stop, but when he does, Poe's fist flies past her ear and hits Kylo square in his jaw.

"Shit!" Rey cry out and fall on her knees beside Kylo. He shoves her hands away and while he struggles to get back on his feet Fin grabs Poe and slams him against the wall.

"Calm down!" he yells into Poe's face. "Calm the fuck down!"

Kylo takes one step towards them with murder in his eyes and Rey slammed her palms against his chest. He's sweaty and he's bleeding and his jaw is starting to swell. He was burning with revenge.

"Kylo,stop!" Rey tried again. But Poe breaks free of Fin's hold and Kylo literally picks Rey up and throws her onto the couch just before Poe plows into him and they crash to the floor.

Rey hear them grunt and curse and Kylo keeps telling Poe to hit harder and Poe keeps telling Kylo to go to hell.

Suddenly the lights in the room come on and it's blindingly bright. She blink several times and see Rose standing with her hand on the switch next to Kato.

He moves just as fast and fluid like Kylo, only he's not blind with rage. kato makes it look so easy when he wraps his arms around Kylo's waist and swings him around to face the stairs.

Fin shoves Poe down to the floor and pins him down, yelling at him to calm down or he's not getting up. Rey watch kato struggle to subdue Kylo on the other side of the room, and flinch when there's a soft cool hand on her shoulder.

It's Rose.

Her lip starts to tremble again when she look around the room and see how much damage has been done.

"I fucking told your ass not to come here. I told you to stay with our gang but you're such a stubborn idiot.. fuck!" kato yells into Kylo ear. "No, I won't let you go. Not until I know you're cool. You're not cool."

"I'm cool," Kylogrowls angrily, "I swear to God Kato, I'm done."

"It's okay," Rose says to Rey and its then

She realize that she is trembling like she in the fucking arctic. "It's okay, Rey-Rey. Calm down sweetie, it's over."

But Rey can't stop shaking. She's so mad at Kylo Ren. She was mad at herself, the world and everyone. Rey feel her eyes start to sting and she knows she's going to cry again.

Rose tries to wipe her face but she slap her hands away and push away from her. She stumble forward, Kylo and Kato stiffen as Rey draw nearer but all she do is shove past them to stagger up the stairs.

"REY! !" Rose calls out for her, and she know she's going to follow so Rey don't stop or slow down when she reaches the top.

Rey just want to go home. Her vision was blurry. She not sobbing or hiccuping like she usually do when she cry. She don't understand what the hell just happened. Rey saw a half empty bottle of tequila and snatch it up.

She make her way through the house to the front door.

Fin's house is fucking huge so it takes her a while to even reach the entrance area. Rose calls out to her one more time, and when she turn around she has her shoes in her hands. She fucking love her so much right now it's ridiculous.

But then Rey saw Kylo also follow right at her back, and shortly after him is a pissed off looking Kato. Poe and Fin are not behind them. Rey don't dare look at Kylo's face. She don't need to see how pissed he is at her for disobeying a direct order.

Rey can feel Rose coming up beside her; she tries to link arms, but she's not in a touchy mood right now. So, she speed up and leave her behind.

"Kylo, no," Rey heard Katoscold Kylo, "don't!" he shouts.

Rey don't have time to react to the tone of voice Kato had used to call out to Kylo, because suddenly there's an iron grip around her wrist. She's spun around quickly after and come face to face with a murderous Brown glare.

Her stomach muscles tighten up and she flinch as if he's going to hit her. It's when she do this that some of the color comes back to his eyes. His grip lightens and with his other hand he moves as if to touch her face.

"Don't," Rey cringe away from him. Rey tried to pull her arm away but his fingers clench. "Let go of me!" she cry out with wide eyes. "Get away from me! Stay away from me!"

She hate that she feel guilty when his face crumbles for a second, but it doesn't last long. He pulls his walls up just as quick and then it's like he feels nothing.

"**_Stop acting like you're afraid of me!"_** he growls out through his teeth.

But she was afraid of him. She'd like to be one of those girls who looks past the mask he puts on, but she can't.

Because all Rey see when she look at him? Is pain.

Dark, agonizing pain. And it's not because of her, and it's not because of what she have done. She doesn't know what it is, but whatever he carries with him is something she don't want to know about. She is not brave enough to stand up to him. She is not strong enough to take care of him.

Because that's what he needs. Someone to take care of him, to keep him in check and call him out when he's being a shit.

But that person is not her.

"Don't you turn your back on me!" he snaps when she try to leave. "Goddamn it, Rey!"

Rey was frozen on her spot. He always called her babe, love, doll face, or baby girl. It's the first time he's ever actually said her name.

"I have your phone," Rey reply with her back still facing him.

"I know you have my fucking phone, I don't care." He literally growls this out like an animal. She peak over her head slightly to see if he's grown fur. But that slight movement is all he needs to rush forward and spin her around again.

"Why'd you do it?" he drops her arm and asks very softly.

Rey scoff at him, "Seriously?"

His grimace deepens, "What is that?" he's confused.

"You have no right to act like I'm a piece of property! I am not your girlfriend, Kylo Ren! And after tonight? I never will be," Rey stare into his eyes so that he gets the point. He does.

"So it's like that, huh?" he laughs bitterly. As if he's been in this situation before with the same results. As if this comes as no surprise to him.

"It was one night," she shake her head.

"Yeah," he nods, "one night that obviously meant more to me than to you."

Rey closed her . That hurt. She feel like a bitch all of the sudden. She's really good at placing guilt onto herself . Rey was lying to him right now. That night did mean something to her. it meant almost everything to her. But then she remember his buzzing phone.

"Rose," Rey call out to her and motion for her to unlock the doors on her car.

Rey took out his phone "Here," she hand him two pieces. His phone and the battery she took out.

He blinks down at it confused as to why it's not in the same condition he left it in.

"You're a very popular guy," Rey tell him in the driest of tones.

He nods, "Yeah, I am." He says this in a way that's supposed to make her jealous. It's working.

Now it's time for retribution. Rose—who she's starting to believe is psychic or just really fucking in tune with her—comes over to the driver's side, slips in and immediately starts up the car.

Kylo's scowling again. She slink down into the passenger seat and shut the door on him. But then she roll down the window and look up at him. He's still staring at her with that intense hurt puppy look in his eyes. She have to remind herself that she wasn't his girlfriend.

"You want to know why this happened tonight? Me and Poe." Rey ask coldly. Her confidence is back and she's feeling really haughty right now.

"Why don't you check in with Phasma? She seems to be the one getting you through those lonely nights ."

His eyes widen in realization just as Rose peels out of the driveway. She pats her leg and tells Ren 'good job.' But all she feel is really, really…

_Lonely_.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey was not in mood she returned to her home last night and did not left her room and picked any calls and messages. She had skipped school. It was mid noon when there was a knock on her door. She tried to ignore it.

"Rey?" her father's voice came from behind the door. When she didn't respond to his question. He slowly unlocked the door and entered in her room.

"You skipped dinner and didn't came downstairs for your breakfast. Are you OK?" he asked softly.

"uhhh!" Rey groaned in frustration and covered herself from blanket.

"Are you having.. I mean is this the time.. You know the time of those days.. Are you having time of your month. Do you need medicine, chocolate, hot water?" he was very shy whenever it comes to women stuff.

Rey remember when first time she had her period he nearly fainted thanks to Clarissa. Clarissa was like a big sister she never had. Clarissa lived with her brother Shiro and father Cassian Andor.

Cassian was her parents best friend the trio went to high school together. And when her parents married he was the one arranging everything. Rey had played with them since her diaper days.

"I'm fine dad. And no I am not having my period. Jeez." Rey sit back on the bed.

"Uh OK. Well if you are OK come and eat something it's not good for your health to keep skipping food and laying on bed all day." he turned to leave but paused to give last look at her.

"What?" she asked him.

"Nothing." he gave her small smile and closed the door softly behind him.

Rey heard Cassian's voice downstairs. Clarissa was living with her boyfriend Tyler. Only Shiro was here. But it was long story.

Time changes, people change.

Rey didn't dare to think about anything but she couldn't shake the image of Kylo pounding Poe with his bloody fists.

She checked her phone nineteen message and calls from Rose, five call from Poe and other from her friends.

It was going to be a long day. But she was going to forget about everything.

She spent her time pampering herself by spa, and beauty treatments for her skin and steam bath. She didn't dare to dive into memories of the night that changed her life.

It was around eight when she ordered pizza for dinner her father was still out on work. He was dealing with murder case of a businessman. She left a few slices for him.

And hit her bed around 10 but still one question haunting her..

**_Who the fuck is that bitch Phasma?_**

X_X

At 6:45 the next morning Rey was standing on Rose's doorstep, hitting the doorbell incessantly while she balance a coffee tray. her father has dropped her to Rose's house before going off to knocked on the door several times. Rose was heavy sleeper but she never liked the idea of getting late to school. She was epitome of perfection.

This is why they don't carpool to school anymore - other than the fact that she lives like twenty minutes away from where Rey lives. Her high school is rival of the Korriban high school because the boys are violent, bad and dangerous influences for others.

Finally, the front door swings open. "Must you always be so boldly rude, Rey?" Rose's live-in housekeeper, a Ms. Glendale, huffs as she holds the door and steps aside for her to enter.

Old Glendale and Rey have a love/hate relationship.

"What up, Dale?" Rey hubble inside and looked at the irritated housekeeper, "Make me those amazing maple syrup pancakes with fuckin cream along hot chocolate." she kissed her cheek.

"Language, Rey." Her cheeks are flushed red because Rey always piss her off with her despicable upbringing.

"Language?" Rey feign innocence. "Oh!Language! Oh ,fuck ,my bad Glendale!"

Her nostrils flare almost as wide as her eyes. "I will be in the kitchen," she hisses. "You know your way to Ms. Tico's room."

"Don't forget the fucking pancakes!" Rey shout after her as she start up the stairs. Rose's parents were never home. They were always working outside on business. She was used to it now.

Rey entered into Rose's room and fling her curtains open. "Rise and shine, Rose-Bud!" Rey shout really loud, laughing when she cringes and groans then buries her face under her covers.

"Get the fuck out, Rey ," she growls, the sound muffled beneath her thick down comforter.

Rey gasped , "Language, Ms. Tico!" doing my best impression of Glendale.

Rose's response is to stick a hand out from her blanket and flip Rey the bird. She's a total monster in the morning until she's had her first sip of coffee. But she is prepared for this.

"I come bearing gifts," Rey say, pulling out her favorite, a tall skinny chai latte. She pull down a section of her blanket and hold the coffee there until she gets a good whiff. She's upright in seconds, with greedy hands reaching for the paper cup.

"Ah ah!" Rey shake her head and hold it out of reach. "Remember what you said to me yesterday?" Rey arch her left eyebrow like a damn pro.

Her hair resembles a perfect, golden bird's nest atop her head. "That Kylois completely unstable?" she snorts, rubbing her fingertips under her eyes to wipe away some of yesterday's smeared mascara.

Rey shake my head. "Before that."

"You got me so don't worry?" she asks, her voice hoarse and raspy with sleep.

Rey rolled her eyes and shake her head. "After that."

"Goddamn it, Rey! Give me my coffee, you evil friend!" She snatches it from her hands and takes a huge gulp. "Oh fuck yes…"she sighs in relief.

"How do you manage to make your morning coffee so x-rated?" she scoff at her.

She moans and takes another drink. "It's a gift."

Rey settle down beside her and lean against the headboard. "What's going on with you, Rose?"

"Nothing, I swear," she sighs, trying to run her fingers through her hair, until they get caught, and Rey had to help free them.

"Rose," Rey used her 'stop bullshitting me' voice.

"It's fine," she says, shaking her head, "I had a weak moment, and… it won't happen again."

Rey gasped, "You should have told me."

"And have you freak out?" she snorts. "Look, Rey-Rey. I love you to death, but you can't begin to understand how hard it is to be me sometimes."

Rey have to bite her tongue. This is her friend's time to talk, not her.

"I'm not perfect, okay? Sometimes I make mistakes, and sometimes I need to do something to… to… I don't know. To fucking blow off some steam." she shrugs her shoulders as if this is not a big deal.

Rey can't keep quiet anymore.

"That's fine, Rose. But normal people go to the gym or talk to their friends to blow off steam. They don't go on a junk food bender and then stick their finger down their throat!" Rey shout at her. "I care about you way too fucking much to watch you go down that road again. I almost lost you the last time, Rose Tico! Do you have any idea how devastated I would be if you ever actually died from this shit?"

_She had taken drugs again._

She can't look Rey in the face, so she stares down at the top of her latte. "I said it won't happen again," she mumbles.

"I love you, Rose. You're my best friend, and I trust you with my life," Rey pause and take a deep breath to keep herself from crying, "but I don't trust you with yours."

She keeps staring at her cup. "Then I guess it's good that we got each other, huh?" she asks, lifting her head. Rey see tears in her eyes. "Because it's so obvious how you're just as careless with your own."

Her hand turns under hers so that she can squeeze ours together.

X_X

They were at school and Rey was really getting anxious again.

**_For some reason she really want to know about Phasma._**

So Rey start to ask around. She went to Lisa first because she's not popular, and Rey know she won't blab to everyone about whatever they talk about. They are in History classes together, and she has math with Lucy. They sit next to each other, and even though for the most part Lisa is a total bitch to her, she does kiss Lucy's ass whenever she needs someone to cheat from.

So Rey convince Lisa to make a deal with Jessica. If anyone can find out who the fuck Phasma is, it's Lucy. Rey ask herself , except for the fact that they each wish the other would die a horrible death.

Rey made a deal with Lucy that if she help her she would ask Poe to set her up with her crush Allen, about her if she gets info about Phasma.

Everybody wins.

X_X

"Allen?" Poe repeats his name in confusion later that day when Rey asked him for the favor.

She refrain from rolling her eyes. "Yes," she say, nodding her head, "I need you to talk to him about Lucy."

"The girl with the glasses in your history class?" his brow wrinkles deeper.

Rey pressed thumb to his forehead and try to smooth it out, "Yes. And also," she wear a genuine smile when she says this next part, "I think it's totally adorable that you know we have history together."

"I know everything about you," his charm is back full swing. He leans down, and Rey lift her chin so he can kiss her.

It's total bullshit, but she let it go. Poe doesn't know the first thing about her. He knows what she allow him and everyone else to think about her.

Quaint little nerd Rey, a wannabe writer and Rose's most trusted best friend. People eat that shit up so easily that it makes her really fucking depressed sometimes.

Poe is a really good kisser, so Rey tend to lose herself for a few seconds in his mouth, and she don't come out of her tongue coma until she heard the warning bell. "I gotta get to the locker room before they lock me out," she mutter against his lips.

He gives her one last kiss and makes it count. Then he slides his thumb over her swollen lips, "Save me a spot at lunch."

She nodded her head.

"Later, babe." He pushes her towards her class and slaps her ass.

Rey giggle and trot to the locker rooms. She know she should be pissed and feel degraded, but she don't.

Rey liked that poe makes her feel sexy. She never felt as irresistible as she do with Poe. He really is starting to grow on her He's not as bad as she had originally pegged him out to be.

X_X

"Eat," Rey growl, sliding her cup of yogurt to her left in front of Rose.

She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. "Fin is bringing me a salad."

Rey sigh, "Whatever." Then Rey smiled and shove a spoonful of strawberry Yogurt into her mouth.

Poe flops down Rey right and, in one swoop, puts her in his lap. "Hey you," he says, nuzzling her cheek. Rey turn to receive her hello kiss. "Mmm, you taste good." He grins and licks his lips as he watches her swallow another spoonful of yogurt.

"Do any of you know who Plasma is?" Lisa comes over and slaps her tray of food down onto the table across from them.

Rey started to choke on her yogurt, and Poe slaps her back until Rose socks him in the arm to stop.

"No, why?" Cobra , who's settled beside a lovesick Angel, looks up at Lisa curiously.

"No reason," she shrugs, sitting down to look at the rest of them. "Any of you know her?"

Poe's arms circle her waist, and he rests his chin on her shoulder, "She goes to Korriban high school, right?"

Rey push away from him and stare at his face, "How do you know that?" she snap.

"Ooooh!" the guys at the table tease him.

Poe just shrugs, "She was friends with Cora my ex."

"How?" Rey cross her arms.

"I dunno. They just were. Why does this matter?" He looks at her closely, and Rey know she need to calm the fuck down before she give herself away.

"It doesn't," Rey mumble, leaning her back against his chest again.

"So she goes to Korriban high?" Lisa struck gold. "Anything else?"

"Why the fuck do you care so much?" Rose frowns at her.

Lisa tries to play it cool. "Some girl in class asked me if I knew her," she shrugs nonchalantly.

"Well, we don't, so drop it," Rose's words are final, and no one mentions Phasma for the rest of lunch.

When the bell rings to signal the end of their lunch break, Rose intercepts Poe's attempt to walk Rey to class.

"Girl talk, sorry. No dicks allowed." She doesn't look sorry at all as she drags her to her locker and pretends to grab a book.

"What the fuck, Rey? How did you get Lucy to ask about Phasma?" she hisses at Rey angrily. "Forget about Kylo Ren! You are with Poe now, remember?"

Rey don't even pretend that she have nothing to do with this, its written all over her face.

"I know, okay?" Rey screams irritated, immediately cringing when she stares hard at her in a way Rey know means 'lower your fucking voice because there is ALWAYS someone listening.'

"I just wanted to know," Rey shrug.

"Why?" Rose sighs, shutting her locker.

Rey turn so they can walk to class and hold her arm out for her to link with herself . "I don't know. I just do. Call it closure."

"Closure for what? " Rose scoffs, "You don't even know the guy. I really wish you would just tell me what the hell went down that night."

Rey groan, "Nothing happened that night; that's just it. I waited for my date , he showed up super late, and while I stood there like an idiot, Kylo kept me company."

They both stop in front of her Chemistry class, and Rose moves to stand in front of her.

"If that's true, then why the hell is Kylo acting like he is? Not even an unstable guy like him would beat the shit out of Poe Dameron all he did was spend one night talking to you."

Rey stare at Rose quietly, and she does the same to her. Rey have nothing to say to her about this, so she crossed her arms and jut her chin toward her classroom. "You're going to be late."

"That's not fair, Rey," she argues, refusing to budge. "I told you that stuff this morning!" she whisper-yells at Rey.

Rey hate keeping shit from her, but she just can't get myself to talk about that night. She can't even really allow herself to remember that night. She just want it to go away so that she can move on.

**_It wasn't even supposed to be that big of a deal until Kylo Ren made it one._**

X_X

It's loud and chaotic inside the house, and Rey know it's a party, but goddamn, this is insane. It's only 9:00, and the entire house is packed with people. Fin is party king of high-school. But it was too early to get high when night was just beginning.

Suddenly a guy approached her what's his name again. Jacon. He was kind of flirting stereotype of high school.

He kept looking at Rey with lustful eyes.

But if he doesn't remove his gaze from her chest , she's going to clock him.

Rey knew she was with Poe to forget about Kylo. Whatever was between them she needs to move on and Poe was best guy to see her future.

But she wasn't just really ready to say yes to anything related to relationship.

She can't even get herself to look at him. Rose says there's a rumor going around that he was going to ask her out soon, but Jacon beat him to the punch.

Rey never wanted to say yes to Jacon , but Rose said she needed Poe to know that I had options.

"Rey ," Poe nods his head as a greeting when she finally look up.

"Hey, you ," she say with a small smile.

Suddenly she saw Angel approached her, "I knew what happened between you and Kylo Ren that night." and she went away.

Rose listened to Angel threatening Rey about what happened that night. Rose was shocked that Rey hid something from her. She was angry.

Suddenly Poe approached her.

Rey knew he was coming with purpose when she stood and ignored his attempts. She felt like a bitch playing with him. But she was constantly trying to make her mind. Rey saw Rose stood to leave she was disappointed in her again.

"Rose…"Rey's voice cracks, and she whirls around to glare at her.

"Shut up," she snaps. "Grab your stuff and wait for me at my car. I need to talk to Fin about something."

Rey gulp and nod without argument. She was too shaken by the incident. But she knew Rose will handle Angel.

Everything is going to be okay.

X_X

Rose has told her to wait near her car. Rey knew Rose was cheerful girl but when she is angry, she's like a burning volcano.

But when she went to Rose's Mercedes, She freeze. There, standing not five feet away, is Kylo Ren discreetly passing drugs, while trying to play it off as a handshake. When Jerome walks away, Kylo leans against his car and crosses his arms. His head lifts and Rey know she should duck and hide, but it's too late.

His eyes caught her.

Rey expect for him to storm over and manhandle her. Rey find that she's trembling where she stand because she want him to grab her roughly and force his mouth onto her.

Kylo Ren takes what he wants; he doesn't wait to see if it's okay or if he's being insensitive. Poe has manners and knows when to touch and when to keep his hands to himself. He's bold sometimes, but if she ever actually said no and meant it? He'd stop.

**_Kylo never stops._**

He doesn't understand no. To him, no means yes. Yes mean yes. Maybe means yes. Everything means yes—yes—yes. Unconsciously her hand moves to her neck where he had left hickey and then slides down over her chest. She can't look away from him.

He must have gotten a phone call right then, because he blinks and breaks eye contact, pulling his phone out and answering it. Rey use this distraction to quickly duck behind the passenger side of Rose's car. She slide down the side of the car and sit on the pebbly asphalt, with no intention of moving until Kylo leaves the parking lot.

She really needs to tell Rose the truth about what happened that night.

X_X


	4. Chapter 4

**It was the beginning of first year and Rey was pissed over everything. People were mean but few were good enough to hold conversations.**

**Rey can only tolerate Rose but nobody else's crap she would take.**

**She was at Jerome party he was the star player of their school. Blonde, beefed up and build.**

**But Rey was exhausted. She was upset because she was missing her mom. she just wanted to hit the bed. But Rosetook her to this party. She heard few people talking about the Knights being in the party...**

**They were dangerous, mysterious but hot and untouchable.**

**Well she never gave a damn.**

**She felt suffocating and slipped through the door avoiding people she really need to relax. She really want a drink or cigarette. She flinched when she heard the flick of a lighter to her side , and she turn to see someone sitting in a dark corner, lighting the end of what she want the most right now.**

**A cigarette .**

**She can ask for one.**

**"Hey," she said to the guy with a black hoodie drawn over his head. "Can I have one of those?"**

**The pack is tossed at her , and next comes the lighter. Is he almost drop them and scowl at the thrower. But he's still letting her have one of his cigarettes for free, so she guess she couldn't complain.**

**She ignited the lighter and watch the flame for a few seconds before touching to the end of her cigarette and inhaling. It's a menthol, and it feels cool going down her lungs after the burn of the weed from before. The minty taste makes her smack her lips and smile to herself.**

**Rey holds the pack and lighter out for the guy to take, and he leans forward to retrieve them. His fingertips slide over her wrist when he does, and her skin breaks out into gooseflesh. His touch was like fire and electrifying, she shiver and stare at his hooded head curiously.**

**"Take your hood off," she said , tilting her head at him.**

**He leans back at the wall and continues to smoke his own cigarette. "Why?" he replies in a smooth deep thick voice that adds to his mysteriousness.**

**"I want to know who to thank for this," Rey say, holding the menthol up and exhaling a cloud of smoke toward him.**

**He adds to the haze with his own exhale and stands up. He's almost a foot taller than her, and she back away, slightly intimidated. He joins her at the patio rail and leans against it.**

**Rey did the same, and they smoke in silence and stare out at the pool.**

**"Why aren't you inside?" he mutters, blowing smoke through his nose. It's the only thing she can see of him, and it's pointed but not too saw a preview of his chin when he takes another pull from his smoke, and it's slightly stubble and leads to a pair of full, pouty lips.**

**She was instantly attracted to him, and she hasn't even seen his whole face. His body build is lean and strong, athletic, but not too bulky. He's like Poe, but taller and less frat boy. His shoulders are broad, and his chest is magnificent, his sweater is pulled tight across it, and she wanted to rub her fingers over its surface.**

**She was high enough to think dirty naughty things about the stranger who just tossed her a joint..**

**"Why aren't you inside? " Rey tease him instead of answering his previous question.**

**"I asked you first," he chuckles, flicking the butt end of his cigarette into the bushes below them.**

**Rey lean on her side to face him, "What is your name?"**

**"You ask a lot of questions for someone who refuses to answer mine," he replies, and she watch the tip of his tongue wet those glorious lips of his.**

**She huff and turn back to the pool. "I'm waiting for someone," she mutter, smashing her cigarette into the wooden patio. "I'm starting to think he stood me up."**

**Rey was waiting for Jacon. That guy was supposed to be her date tonight.**

**"Who is he?" his voice was dangerously close to her ear and a spark of recognition hits her.**

**Rey closed her eyes and breathe through her nose. "No one important right now,"**

**She whisper and waited for him to speak again. She was almost positive she know who is beside her right now.**

**She felt fingertips slide up her arm and across her collarbone, "Who the fuck would be stupid enough to keep someone like you waiting?" he asks no one, and her eyes fly open to stare at the shadow of his face.**

**"I guess his loss is your gain, huh?" she reply boldly. "Take off your hood."**

**"Why?" he challenges her.**

**And he lightly touched her face and she leaned into his touch. Recognizing it. He was one of the Knights.**

**Dark, Dangerous and scary.**

**She remembered about them and he was definitely the one.**

**She placed her hand over his fingers on her skin, "Take off your hood, Kylo Ren," she demand.**

**Without protest, he pulls the hood from his head, and her eyes move to his messy hair and dark smoldering eyes.**

**"Hello, Rey ," he smirks.**

**She blink in surprise. "How do you know my name?"**

**He smirks and touches her cheek with his thumb. "I know everything about you, Rey…"**

**She gulped and turned her head. "How do you know my name?" she repeat, practically growling as she push his arm away from her**

**"Shiro," he says in defeat and leans against the rail again, but this time his side is pressed against her.**

**She snort, "Of course." and shaking her head. "Well I hope you know that he and I are not friends anymore," she snap.**

**"Really?" he teases her . "Hard to tell, what with the way you each act like the other one doesn't exist and all," he mutters sarcastically.**

**Rey turn to tell him to mind his business when she heard Lisa and Link voice.**

**"Shit," she curse under her breath. "You have to hide me." she looks up at Kylo and clutches his sweater in her hands. "Please," she beg him.**

**His face hardens in concern. "Is someone bothering you?"**

**She pull on his sweater and start for the stairs. "No! Just come on! I don't feel like pretending to be sweet, little, nerdy Rey right now, okay? Can you understand that? You look like a guy who plays a role. Don't you ever just want to be your fucking self sometimes?"**

**He removes her fingers from his sweater and links them with his own. "There's a pool house around back," he replies.**

**She grinned at him. "Perfect, let's go." Rey yank him along with her.**

X_X

Rose was shocked and angry. They were best friends or more like sisters. And when she heard Angel threatened Rey about the night she was with Kylo Ren. She was frozen. Rey never told her what happened. She always denied any kind of connection with the bad boy of the city.

Rey was frustrated from the fucked up situations. Rose was giving her silent treatment. Rey knew she would not understand , but she would not listen why she lied to her at first place. Rose just keep driving after leaving the hell party.

Rey was scared of angry Rose so she didn't dare to ask anything. She she kept going on with stony face.

They were in the loneliest part of town near the harbor. Barely seen any more human beings at this time. Rey saw Rose slowing down her car.

Time to face the trial.

"Okay," Rose says, turning to Rey "I get Rey-Rey, why you're too scared to admit to everything that happened that night. You're probably embarrassed because he's an experienced guy, and he probably made you do things that you normally would never imagine doing..."

X_X

**"Take off your clothes, Love," he says.**

**Rey pressed her hands against his chest and pushed him away. "Excuse me?"**

**He laughs, "Come on, babe . Don't act like you don't want this." He takes Rey by her waist and lifts her up and put her on counter.**

**Rey knew nothing about Kylo Ren except he was dangerous violent and a guy her daddy always forbidden to follow. But she just wanted to explore the side of life she never experienced. And he was better option. They are strangers after all no strings attached. And she was attracted to him. There was no deny of the fire of seductive attraction between him and her.**

**"What are you doing?" Rey gulped and stare up at him in amazement.**

**Kylo's grin makes her tremble lustfully. "You wanted a distraction."**

**He traced her cheek and whispered softly, " you want to forget everything. I'll even make you forget yourself tonight."**

**X_X**

"Rey-Rey," Rose says, sounding irritated, but Rey was still stuck in her memory of that night. She felt that her heart is beating faster, and she is breathing harder.

"Rey" Rose shouts so loudly that Rey jump and bang her head on the window.

Rey curse underneath her breath and rub her head with her hand. "What?" she mumble crossly.

"You see," Rose smacks the steering wheel and points at her. "That right there? That zoning out thing that you do? That's what's I'm talking about when I say you need to get your head out of the clouds. When you're not in the present, you're in the past, or you're in whatever la la land you come up with inside your head. You're missing out on the little details that you really need to focus on, Rey. If you didn't have lied to me. Look you need to clean and clear all the mess with that Kylo. Didn't I say that to you?"

Rey didn't liked the way Rose accused her and something snapped when she heard her best friend tell her to stay clean and clear from Kylo Ren.

"I'm glad you feel the need to lecture me right now, Rose. Really, I am. Because at least I know you don't have anything to do with that second Kinght, Kato. Right?" Rey glared at Rose"We need to focus on you right now, not me, and most certainly not Kylo."

Rose laughs bitterly and gives her a shaming look. "Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter, Rey . I'm way better at it than you. Don't lie with me right now. You're avoiding what happened that night. I just don't get why you feel the need to hide it from me,of all people," she explains, sounding hurt.

It pains Rey to know that she has hurt her. Rey sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "It's embarrassing," she whisper to Rose and avoiding her gaze.

Rose waits a few beats before speaking. "So is my problem with…" she pauses and takes a breath, "my problem. But I still talk about it with you. Come on, Rey," she feel Rose's hand on her knee, "if the tables were turned you'd be all over me to tell you what happened."

She's right.

They finally make it to where she's been driving, and she start to laugh softly. They're at their secret spot in the woods between Korriban and Home.

ROse smiled at Rey . They got out of the car and both start walking, and gazing at the stars. She links arms with Rose.

"You are the best thing happened to me Rose-Bud. You are my best friend."

"There is no need to remind me how awesome I'm Rey-Rey," Rose replied.

Mom! I think you sent Rose for me. I'm glad and I promise you, I'll not do anything to ever make you feel ashamed of me.

Rey leaning her head against Rose's shoulder. Closed her eyes again remembering the night which changed her innocence and life. The night she met Kylo Ren.

-x-

**Rey never dreamed of doing something like this with a stranger she just met. But here she was with the most sexy but dangerous guy in whole town.**

**Rey looked as he lit another cigarette and looked at her.**

**"Want?" He holds it up and looks at her expectantly.**

**She wanted to shake her head and say no. But she was still high from the drinks she had sort of buzzed but she didn't want to look pathetic like a wimp,.**

**But he looked at her and changed his mind. Rey felt disappointed. He gave her mischievous smirk.**

**"You know you can't escape from here without having fun tonight. The excitement you never felt."**

**"But I want to know how it feels to smoke." she pouting that he took her opportunity to feel it.**

**He doesn't say anything in response, and for that she was grateful. Instead, he puts one end of the blunt to his lips and ignites the other end while he inhales deeply. He holds his breath so that the smoke can fill his lungs, and he stares at the red ember at the tip of the blunt. Rey watch him exhale a little over the end so that the ash falls to the ground. He pushes the rest of the smoke into the air, and it's so small in the room that she bet can hot box it.**

**Rey knew he was into weed, drugs and joint. He was bad influence. She wanted to touch the dark side of the night.**

**She snatched his Joint and took a puffs. But regret eventually when she started to cough. His joint was the strongest one.**

**Then he starts to chuckle. "You're going to be so fucked up in a few minutes."**

**Her body was trembling from her somewhat traumatic experience, and the good daughter of a respectable man, don't even care that she was clinging to his chest.**

**She make him stay there while she try to tell her body to calm the fuck down and convince it that they're going to live.**

**"I just wanted to feel what was like to smoke strong weed." She still wants it.**

**Kylo takes a deep drag and then turns his head to her; she look up at him curiously, and he points to his mouth with the same hand that has the blunt held between two fingers.**

**Rey don't really think she understand what he's trying to tell her, but if it's what she think it is… she licked her lips and push up to her tip toes. She angles her face so that her mouth aligns with his, and she parted her lips slightly. He swoops down, and his mouth is on her His tongue barely touches her bottom lip as he exhales his smoke into her lungs.**

**It's the hottest fucking thing ever.**

**Rey shiver and pressed her chest into his, and his arm slides from around her shoulders down to her lower back. She pull some air through her teeth to push the smoke deeper into her lungs, and then she exhale away from their faces. When her lungs are clear, she lick her lips and stare at his mouth.**

**"Do that again," she tell him.**

**He takes a smaller hit and leans over. Rey brings her mouth to his again, and this time he presses his lips very softly to her like a lover's kiss. When she open up he exhales into her mouth, and Rey in return inhale whatever he gives her. But in the process, his hand slides down to cup her ass, and she gasping in surprise, but she have no room in her lungs to do so.**

**"I think we're done smoking," he breathes into her ear as Rey exhale behind his back.**

**Rey knew there was no turning back. She was the good girl once belong to elite society. Other side Kylo Ren was not one of normal shenanigans.**

**Drugs, sex, drinking, smoking, fighting was casual to him. No heart or sentiment for him. But she was not thinking straight herself. It would be just one night stand.**

**He is best option to lose her virginity. Then they won't have to see each other again.**

**Kylo pulled her closer and Rey knew there was no turning back. She thought he was going to kiss her Instead, he raises his free hand and sticks his index finger between her lips.**

**"Suck," he murmurs. "Swirl your tongue around it."**

**Oh. My. God.**

**Normal innocent nerdy Rey is supposed to tell him to go to hell. Good girls do not behave like 50-cent hookers. But when he wiggles his finger over her tongue, she found that she was doing exactly as he says. Rey know he's turned on because the look in his eyes is predatory, watching her make out with his finger.**

**Rey was ready to be wild, shameless for once. And she was not denying that she was under the influence of him.**

**"Stop," he commands, and she did. "Open," he says, and her lips part. He pulls his finger out, her saliva all over it, and licks his dry thumb before he presses both wet fingers to the lit end of the blunt, and it dies out.**

**Rey don't even know that she was panting until she see that he was staring at her chest, and it moves up and down very fast. She press a hand to her collarbone, and she felt heart banging away like a little monster screaming to be let whimper unconsciously when he steps closer and looms over her .**

**But Rey changed her mind. She didn't want to have her first time like this. Suddenly she felt his hands on her waist.**

**"I'm not having sex with you," she insist, her voice hoarse as it cracks nervously.**

**He chuckles, the sound rumbling deep within his chest. "Good. Because I'm not having sex with you, either."**

**Rey flinch in surprise. Usually she have to hear whining after this. She felt little self conscious and offended. She can bet he had super models and perfect skinny girls under him but she was not seductive diva but not that ugly either.**

**"Why not?" Rey mutter, offended. "I will have you know that there is a roomful of guys in that party that would love t—"**

**His hand presses over her mouth firmly. "Tonight," he says, his eyes boring into her as if making a promise. "We're not having sex tonight."**

**Which mean he intends to have sex some other night.**

**Rey don't want to interact with him again. She removes his hand from her mouth. "What makes you so sure you have more than one night with me, Kylo Ren?"**

**He grins and plays with the top elastic on her panties. "I've been waiting a very, very long time for this moment, Rey."**

**Rey gulped at the intensity in his onyx irises.**

**"I guarantee you will give yourself over to me before the night is done." He's challenging her , and Rey never lost game for playing along, but goddamn, how do you go against a master like him? His face moves closer; he nuzzles her nose with his and then buries his face in her neck, inhaling her scent. "I'm going to make you come so hard, baby…" he breathes across her throat.**

**Rey knew she was gone.**

**She wanted him so badly that she can't breathe right. She feel something inside of her snap, and suddenly her hands are tugging at his sweater and tearing it over his head. Placing both her hands on his face, she pull him to her and smash her mouth against his. Neither of them holds back after that.**

**Fire met the gasoline**

**His hands are hungry, and his mouth is aggressive. He bites. Her lip. Her tongue. Her neck. Her shoulder. Rey whimper every time she feel his teeth touch her skin. She want him. Everywhere. His hands bunch the flesh of her breasts between his fingers, and she was so glad that she didn't wear a bra tonight.**

**Instinctively, her hands go to the back of her neck, and she pull apart the strings that hold her top together.**

**He doesn't need her to say anything. He pulls it over her head, and then his mouth was on her before she can react. She cry out when she feel him pinch and knead and suck on her puckered nipples. she stick her chest her out and hold him to her.**

**Kylo Ren was the air she needs to breathe to stay alive tonight, Kylo slips his fingers inside her panties and caresses her highly sensitive clit. She clutch his well built shoulders.**

**"Oh God!" she moan. "Oh my God, Kylo!" Rey pull his hair between her fingers and start whimpering into his shoulder.**

**"Don't call me Kylo," he sounds like a angry hell devil before mauling her lips with his. "And take these off," he growls. Rey hear her underwear stretch and rip as he yanks them down her legs.**

**"Then what should I call you?" Rey squirmed under his touch.**

**"Call me Ben." He kissed up her leg.**

**"Ben , I need you," she cry out. She wants him everywhere.**

**It was the first time she called him by his name.**

**He pauses and stares at her. Rey almost ask him what's wrong, but then he blinks.**

**"Say it again," he demands, his words husky and full of want.**

**Her body is trembling as she sat naked atop of a counter. She reach out for him and slide her hands up his shirt. "I need you," she whisper onto his chin and slowly start to pull his shirt up his torso. "Ben…" she said his name again.**

**"Fuck," he pants heavily, "just hearing you say my name…"**

**Rey don't let him talk anymore. she stick her tongue in his mouth, and his shirt hits the floor. Her hands wander down his muscled chest and his tight six-pack, and then her fingers are pulling at his belt. He watches her undo his pants and push them down over his hips. He looks completely vulnerable right then, and Rey finds that she feel a pull inside her chest that's not only lust. She push past it and ignore it.**

**She slip her fingers into his boxers. "I want you," Rey replied , putting her hand over his fully erect cock.**

**He's fucking huge, and she had to use both hands to fully appreciate everything he has.**

**She only follows her instincts and she was liking every part of Kylo Ren, Ben, he's hot and ready to go.**

**She slick the juice from his tip and palm his head, "I want you…" she say again, "in my mouth," she say against his chin and nibble him there.**

**He shudders, and his hands tighten on her waist. "And I will be," he growls, "but you come first." His eyes open and stare into her. He puts his palm over her bare pussy and rubs it up and down the middle.**

**Rey moan and whimper and tremble in his hands.**

**"I want to kiss you," he whispers in her ear, and Rey turn her head so he can, but he shakes his head. Rey blink at him, confused, and he smirks before lowering down onto his knees.**

**Her breath hitched and eyes widen when grabs her ankles and jerks her forward so that her sex is right in front of his face. "I want to kiss you here." He kisses the inside of her thigh and her head lolls backwards. "And here." He kisses the inside of her other thigh. "And here." He takes a deep breath of what lies between her legs, and Rey moan and quietly start to beg him to continue.**

**"Ben," she said breathlessly, "Ben, please…"**

**She expect him to comment on how wet she was most guys would. But once again, he surprises her, saying nothing of the sort. Instead, he wastes no time in slicking his whole tongue over her so that she feel every part of him run over every part of her. Rey screamed and buck into his face as he spreads her legs wider apart.**

**He doesn't just lick her or tease her with the tip of his tongue on her clit.**

**Rey quickly learn that Ben is quiet talented with his mouth, in so many ways. She wonder what she taste like, because he seems to be enjoying the fuck out of himself down there, and she can't help but start to see stars.**

**Rey knew she was going to come soon. His tongue twists and turns and teases and flicks and—oh! She tighten her hold on his shoulder and arch her back.**

**"Ben," Rey start to cry, like actually fucking cry. "I want you up here when I come," she whimper, and he asks her how close she was. She tell him to get up here, and he wipes the back of his hand across his lips before they're on her. His fingers go back to between her thighs, and she squeeze her arms around his neck. Rey tasted a little of herself on him, and it should be gross, but its not. It's so, so not.**

**"Come on, Babe," he says in her ear, "give yourself to me. Say you're mine, tell me..."**

**Rey feel tears in here yes , and she dug her fingers into his shoulders, "Yours! I'm yours, Ben!" she cry out as she come so fucking hard that she sob into his shoulder and slap his hand away when he keeps touching her. It's too much, she was too fucking gone, and it feels like her entire body is lit up like gasoline**

**"Kiss me," Rey pants, and hold him to her. She wrapped her legs around him and feel his shaft between her legs. She was still shaky and sensitive, but she rub against him anyway.**

**He hisses and bites her shoulder. He curses out loud several times and tells her to stop or he's going to fuck her on the counter.**

**"Do it," she challenged to him and beg him to make love to her. "I want you too."**

**He shakes his head and steps back so they're not touching down there anymore. "Your first time isn't going to be in a fucking stranger place , Rey," he snaps at her.**

**It was the first time he sounded angry with her.**

**Rey flinch and wonder if it's just common knowledge to everyone around town that she was delicate innocent nerd Rey and she is a virgin. It pisses her off,**

**" So what if I never had sex or experience. You do not have to remind me that." she screamed at him. Even she knew it wasn't his fault. He was just being sincere which was rare things for a guy like him. He should not be bothered by her feelings.**

**"Shit!" he yells, pulling her close in a hug and staring at her with wide, guilty eyes. "Fuck, I'm sorry."**

**Rey don't know why he's sorry. She is the one who blame him. Rey shake her head. "Don't be. I lost myself."**

**His face falls, and he kisses her forehead, "Don't rush this," he says to her. "Our chemistry is more than just a one night stand Rey…"**

**He takes her hand and puts it on his still hard cock. "I need you, Love," he whispers and breathes deeply. She stroke him a few times, and he's putty in her hands.**

**He is mine right now. He was the wild Ferocious guy and now on her mercy. Rey likes it. It's a very thrilling feeling to have; it turns her slide off the counter When she was on her feet, she press her palms against Ben'snaked chest and kiss every inch of his skin.**

**He closes his eyes, and she but in his chest, giggling when he curses under his breath and his dick twitches and jerks in her hand.**

**Then she drop to her knees and use his sweater to keep them from hurting too badly while she do take him back into her hands and look up at him so that their eyes lock.**

**Rey lean in and lick the underside of his shaft. He breathes harder, but his eyes don't leave her. He puts one of his hands in her hair and fists a handful of it tightly.**

**It hurts, but it's a stimulant, and without hesitating, she take him into her mouth.**

**"Sssshit! Oh, fuck!" he shouts in the room. He thrusts his hips forward, and she end up taking in more of him than she comfortable with. She was about to gag, but somehow she get my reflex under work her way back up and then back down.**

**Rey was nervous it was her first time experience. She need to watch a YouTube video or something; she was not sure if she was doing this right thing. But judging from the sounds he's making, she was sure she was doing okay. There is just no fucking way she can handle deep throating his entire cock, so she use her hands to twist and squeeze the part of him that her mouth doesn't touch. His hand in her hair pulls her back and pushes her forward at whatever pace he wants her to suck him off at. Rey allow him that control because she want him to feel as good as he'd made her feel just before.**

**When her jaw gets sore, she pop him out of my mouth and tongue his balls. He slaps a hand onto the the and the bang echoes in the room. She alternate between the two, and then he says he's almost there and tells her to stand up.**

**Rey shake her head no, and he yanks on her hair until she was on her feet and then crashes his mouth onto her.**

**Rey shove him away from her and pull his hand out of her hair. "Stop," she said and move back to her knees.**

**"Rey ," he warns her, but he doesn't pull her back up either. So she suck him until he snaps that he's about to come. Rey don't swallow, not yet anyway.**

**"Come on me…" she say and look up at him through fluttering lashes.**

**He's gasping and gripping her hair. "Huh?" he sounds confused and hazy.. Aww he looks adorable and Rey felt jealous of those bitches who had been with this adorable hunk.**

**"I want you to cum on me," she licked her lips and look down at her chest. "Right here," she whisper and bunch her breasts together in front of him.**

**"Oh fuck," he pants, "that is the hottest fucking…" He doesn't finish because his face twists up, and Rey now know that he kind of look cute when he cums. It spurts out right where she told him to, and it runs down her chest.**

**"You are so fucking hot," he says in total disbelief. He bends over and grabs his shirt. Rey move to take it and clean herself off, but he shakes his head and does it for her. Gently.**

**"You didn't have to do that," she mumbles as he concentrates on wiping her body clean, apparently.**

**"I wanted to," was his answer.**

**He stops wiping and cups her face. "C'mere," he whispers, and they kiss, lips touching softly, tongues barely touching. It's sweet and sensual, and she has never experienced a kiss that literally makes her toes curl. **

**They dressed each other. They don't talk or share secret smiles as they do this, either. She raise her arms over her head, and he pulls her halter on, and then he turn around, and he ties the back. He doesn't put his shirt back on because,eww.**

**Instead, she help him pull his hoodie over his magnificent model body, and right before she pull it down over his torso, she press one last kiss over his left abs., but she swear she didn't mean for it to be so movie-esque. Rey worry that he might think she was too girly and that she was going to be clingy now. Because she was not that girl , he can relax.**

**He pulls on his own jeans , but she zip them up and button them. She loop his belt and pull it through the buckle. Rey search the room for her panties before she slip on her jeggings, and she can't find them anywhere. She look behind the counter , and when she bends, Ben slaps her bare ass.**

**Rey yelp and throw him a dirty look, and then she see that he has her underwear dangling on his index finger. She reach for them, and he raises them high over her head.**

**"These are mine. Love" He has the audacity to slip them in his back pocket as if they were a handkerchief.**

**Then he leans down and holds her jeggings out for her to put her legs through. Rey glare at him as she put each foot through the pant legs. He pretends like he doesn't see her disapproval and hikes the skin tight jeans/leggings up over her hips.**

**"These things leave nothing to the imagination," he comments and slides his hands over her now covered ass. "Do you wear these all the time?"**

**"Only when Rose makes me," she admit truthfully.**

**He smirks and pulls her face up to kiss her again. "Come with me to my home. I promise I will be nicest guy you ever met," he asks softly. And there was no joking. His Promise was sincere.**

**She completely taken back. "W-what?"**

**"It's my place. No one will be there, just you and me," he adds as if trying to convince her. Rey was curious as to what he means by 'his place' and ask him as much. "It's my place , how does that not compute?" His eyes narrow. "I have my own apartment, Rey."**

**"But what about your parents?" she ask dumbly, "Where are they?"**

**"They are dead. Mom died when I was born and dad died when I was around ten. Two years I've been with fucked up foster. Since I've been on my own since I turned twelve," he replied .**

**Rey was beyond shocked that he would offer up such personal information, and judging by the look of utter surprise on his face, she was betting he wasn't expecting to say that much either.**

**His thumb slides over her lips delicately. "I'm not ready to end my night with you. Come home with me," he asks, almost like he's begging.**

**"What will we do there?" she was totally playing hard to get with her suddenly innocent act. He sees right through her though.**

**"I'm sure we can think of a few things," he sighs.**

**She smile, "Okay."**

X_X

"Okay, um… wow." Rose runs her slim fingers through her silky black hair.

Rey continue to pull the petals off of the little purple flower in her hand. Rey should feel ashamed for the way she acted with a guy she didn't know. But if asked, she would never take back that experience with Ben. She felt confident and sexy and herself.

Did that mean she was a whore?

"Okay," Rose says, trying to find words again. "I wasn't expecting that,but okay."

Her flower has no more petals, so she grab another one and start her assault.

Rose turns to her, "Do you… like him Rey?" Her eyes show worry, but she's maintaining a blank face otherwise. If it were anyone other than her, she'd appear as if whatever answer she heard wouldn't matter. But I'm not anyone, and Rey know that her answer will change lives.

It sounds dramatic, even to her, but damned if it isn't true.

Rey gulp and pull a petal. "I, uh… it doesn't…" she fiddle with the stem. "It doesn't matter," she huff and throw the flower as far as it will go.

"Shit," she mutters under her breath. "This is so much worse than you feel Rey."

Rey cringe and look away from her.

"Rey-Rey ," ROse takes her hand, "look at me."

She hesitate to turn her face. She sighs and squeezes her hand, and Rey feel her bottom lip start to tremble. She was so right; she should have never kept this from her. She didn't realize how much she was holding back until right this moment.

Her chest is heavy, her eyes are welling, and she want to cry and throw up and scream all at the same time.

"Look at me, Rey," she tells Rey as she starts to rub her shoulder to comfort her. When Rey finally do get the courage to lift her gaze to hers, she smiles and says, "It's going to be okay."

She's lying .

And not just about her. She's lying about herself, too. Now Rey really feel like crying. She doesn't know how to handle this. Rose is the one with the answers, not her.

How was she supposed to deal with the hurricane name Kylo Ren and and watch out for Rose? Making sure Rose doesn't stray off her path is a full time job. She's emotional, and any little thing could set her off.

"Just admit that you like him, and we can go from there," she says, bringing Rey out of her thoughts.

Rey go to pick another flower and hesitate. She sigh and close her eyes. "I like him," I mumble very softly.

She was hoping the breeze will carry her confession away with it. She don't want to admit to anything. She want to continue her charade with Poe because if she keep that going, eventually she going to start to believe it.

She really does like Poe, she does.

But he's not Ben.

Shit.

"It doesn't matter," Rey say. She shake her head and pull her hand back from Rose. "He's just like any bad boy who crush heart of girl like me " Rey shrug. "I'd be an idiot to fall back into that trap."

Rey hate how well Rose and she know each other. They can't even fucking lie to each other without the other one knowing its bullshit. Rey covers her face with her hands and groan.

She don't want to be her right don't want to be the girl who has the perfect guy and wants the shitty one. This is real life; Kylo will hurt her. Poe won't.

"So what now?" Rey laugh bitterly to herself . "Angel has me right where she wants me, and I'm not even sure if I care anymore."

"I'm thinking," Rose mutters.

Rey turn her head to see her staring out at the stars view in front of them. She wanted to escape from everyone and everything.

She think about today in the parking lot. Kylo's face was blank, but his eyes were calculating. It's always in the eyes. The truth.

Rey wonder what hers look like that time.

Rose clears her throat and then looks at her. "You know Rey," she says, "it all really depends on which life you want to lead, Rey."

Rey touch her throat and slide her hand down to her chest, where she can feel her heartbeat beneath her palm.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump. It's level right now. Normal.

"What's that?" Rey reply, her heart picks up one extra beat.

Rose takes all her hair in her hands and holds it on the top of her head while she looks out at the sky. "This life," she says as she lets her hair drop, "or that life ." Her eyes shift to lock with Rey.

"Which would you choose?" Rey start to chew on my lip nervously. Her heart rate is no longer normal; it's gaining beats and thumping faster.

She sighs, and it's like there's this huge weight on her shoulders. "I already made my choice," she says and looks away from her again, "but this one is yours to make."

Rey gulp and nod her head. She was not really sure what she means about making her own choice, but she too mixed up in my head to ask. Easy or hard? Rich or poor? Clear or confusing?

Kylo or Poe?

Rey drop her head onto her knees, which she had pulled tight to her chest. She shouldn't have to think about this shit. She have a calculus quiz tomorrow in fifth period and a 500 word essay due in her economics class. She should be at home writing and studying.

"It's an easy choice," she mumble. "Guy like Kylo obviously just wanted a side piece," she snort and roll her eyes. "Poe just wants me ,no one else, so I choose Poe."

Rey drop her hand to the ground and clench her fingers around a clump of grass. She pull it up by the roots and chuckle because she feel like Kylo has done the exact same thing to her.

ROse leans back and rests on the ground while she stare up at the cloudless night sky. "But what the hell does choosing Poe matter if you want Kylo?" She rolls her head to stare up at Rey.

Rey bite her lip and shrug. Her nose tingles, and her eyes sting. She shrug again, and Rose sighs and holds her hand out for her. Rey take it, and she pulls her down to lay next to her.

"It's fine," Rose laughs softly. "It's just high school anyways. It's not like you're going to fucking get married or anything, okay?"

Rey nod and press her forehead to her shoulder. She kisses the top of her head, and she feel a comfort after long time since her mother died.

X_X

**Rey was glad and excited as they made their way outside. Ben pauses and lifts her hand to his lips. He kisses her palm and tells her he'll be right back; he has to tell his boys that he's leaving. Rey nod her head and go inside, while he walks out the back gate to the front of the house.**

**When Rey walk back into the party, it's like she was seeing everything for the first time. Laughing teenagers, giggling girls flirting with horny boys. Someone's break dancing in the middle of the room, and everyone is circled around cheering. She makes her way through them, and she don't know what song is playing, but she love it. And love the way she feel right now.**

**Free and alive.**

**Ben was her freedom.**

**She had never felt this alive. Rey feel like she was fucking glowing. She could be a firefly for all she knows.**

**She run into Fin, and he tells her that Jacon is here, and he's been looking for her .Rey feel she owe Jacon an explanation as to why she was leaving the party without him. Then she pause because, hello? Didn't he make her think that he stood her up in the first place?**

**He was the guy Rose told Rey about for the blind date.**

**Someone shouts her name, and Rey raise her hand and wave because she have no intention of stopping. She want to find Fin and tell him she was leaving. But she could not find her friends.**

**"Rey Wait!" There's that shout again. Once again she raise her hand and wave in that direction, but then fingers clamp down around her wrist and pull her around. ", hey!" It's me, Jacon."**

**Her eyes widen. "Jacon! Uh, hey," she replied awkwardly.**

**"Listen, I'm really sorry about being so late. I had to pick up my little brother and his friends from the movies and then drive them all home. I tried to call you." His eyes are like two glass marbles.**

**"You did?" Rey say with a frown as she pull out her phone, and sure enough, there are missed calls and text messages. But they all occurred around the same time she was playing doctor with Ben. She smiled at her analogy, and Jacon smiles at her because he thinks he's forgiven.**

**"So, look I'm thinking we catch up on lost time." His arm slips around her waist. "Wanna go somewhere more quiet?"**

**Uhhh… no?**

**Rey laugh instead and shake her head. "Nice try," she laugh again.**

**He grins, and that baby face is just not doing it for her. "Ah, come on." His fingers touch the skin between her top and her jeans. "I don't bite."**

**Ben does. She touch her shoulder and press her fingers into the bite marks and hickey on her chest he left all over.**

**Rey started to push Jacon away. "I think I'm just gonna head home."**

**"What?" His face falls. "No! Come on, Rey . I just got here. I said I was sorry."**

**Rey glance back at him incredulously. "You made me wait here for like two hours, Jacon. I thought you stood me up."**

**"But I tried to call you," he insists as he puts his hands on her waist and leans in. "Come on, baby… let me make it up to you."**

**Rey scowl and slap his hands away. "I'm not your baby."**

**He rolls his eyes, and his good boy act melts away. "What the fuck, Rey? Why are you being like this? I blew off Yuki for you. The least you could do is—"**

**"Oh! I'm so sorry!" she gasp sarcastically. "Please excuse me. I didn't mean to cock block. I'm sure you can find Yuki around; she's been looking for you."**

**He snatches up her wrist, and it hurts. "Don't be a bitch," he snaps.**

**"Let go of me!" Rey tried to yank herself free.**

**He scowls, but then he looks over her shoulder and his body frozen, eyes full with fear mouth drops open just before a fist connects with his face.**

**Rey yelped and jump away from the scuffle that starts between Jacon and…. Ben?**

**"Ben, stop!" Rey shout at him, but it's like he can't hear her.**

**He hits Jacon over and over again repeatedly. There's blood, and she starts to feel queasy. She was shocked at the rage she see all over Ben's face, he was burning with revenge and raw hate. and she press a hand to her mouth. He looks terrifying, and when two guys shove past cross her to break up the fight, Rey gasp at how easily Ben fights them off. They both fell on the ground full in blood and broken bones. He looks possessed and not at all like the guy she spent the past two hours with.**

**Unable to take it anymore, Rey turn and run out the front door.**

**And that was the first time she decided to stay away from Kylo Ren.**

**X_X**


	5. Chapter 5

It was so frustrating. She was getting trigger by every small things.

Rey just wanted to avoid everything that reminded her of Kylo Ren. After last night talking about him with Rose gave her new depth of her messed up life. She wanted to face Poe but she just didn't have energy to pretend to be okay.

She was successful in avoiding everyone and dodging Poe before he could catch her. Angel was being bitter as always. She tried to bully her but Rey didn't replied. She had enough.

She made it all the way through lunch before Poe corners Rey in one of the secluded spots at the back of school. She had just come out from the restroom when she felt a tug and saw his face, and suddenly she was pushed against a brick wall.

"You're avoiding me. Rey?" he says, and his eyes are all over her, like he's searching for something. "Why?" his eyes narrow.

Rey gulp, "I'm not." she denied it.

He rests his hands on either side of her head and leans into her. "I called you last night."

He had called her when she was having conversations with Rose about Kylo and her phone was inside Rose's car in her bag over passenger seat.

Rey 's eyes were staring at his mouth; he keeps licking his lips. It's distracting her. She took a deep breath and forced her gaze into his. "No you didn't," she lied.

"Yes," he says and his face gets closer, "I did."

Rey start to feel very anxious, and she don't know why. "Well…" she clear her throat. "Then I didn't hear it."

Poe continues to stare at Rey closely, and then he takes one of his hands off the wall and slides his index finger down the bridge of her nose and over her lips. "Is there something you want to tell me, Rey?" he whispers.

She freeze. "What?"

He frowns. "I know Angel is being rude with you for few days. I can talk to her if you want if you can't figure out how to put her back."

She scoffed, "Wow you really mean I don't have enough support to stop her myself. Jeez! Thanks for coming ."

She was angry with her life and people around her and especially him

"What's going on with you and Rose?" Poe touches her face in concern. "Is this about Angel just tell me?"

Rey lean into his hand, and then she move forward and wrap her arms around his neck. His hands rub up and down her back, and it's comforting. "I hate myself sometimes for being a selfish person, Poe," she admit to him.

His arms go around her and squeeze tight. "I'll talk to Angel and you are not selfish girl. Trust me Rey you are everything but not selfish," he says into into hair. "I don't like to see you like this, baby. I thought it was me at first, but then I saw Rose this morning… I'm sorry I didn't do anything."

"It's fine," Rey mumble into his shoulder.

He pulls her away to look at her face. He brings his hands up to cup her cheek and brushes his thumbs under her eyes to wipe away the tears. "No, it's not. But I promise you," he says and leans in, pressing his lips to her forehead, "I won't let anyone hurt you ever again." His words are spoken softly, and they touched Rey in a deep way.

Rey bite her lip and just resting her cheek on his shoulder again. "I don't want to eat lunch in the cafeteria today," she said to him.

His hand moves up and down her back soothingly. "Then we won't."

"I want to eat outside by ourselves," Rey mumble, "but I want Rose, too."

"Anything you want, baby. Anything you want," He continues to hold her in his arms.

"Fin can come." Rey turn her face so that her nose is where his neck and shoulder meet. She inhale, loving the way he smells. She feel safe and comforted. She feel cared for.

He laughs, "Anything else?"

Rey shrugged her shoulders. "No, just that."

"How's your dad?" he asks.

Rey wrinkle her nose. "I have not seen him for a few days. Working on some case about human trafficking."

Rey didn't knew all of of sudden Poe doesn't warn her before he lifts her up into his arms, so she end up squeaking in surprise. "Can't have you walking around because today you are my princess not a normal human anymore. I need my girl to stand next to me and cheer me on at our next game." He winks at her.

Rey was overwhelmed.

She lean over and kiss his lips. He grins, and she shakes her head and laughs at him.

"Yes Sir" she mess up his hair with her fingers, and he doesn't argue or complain about it like she thought he would. She's really beginning to worry that she actually starting to like this guy and falling for him.

But that's a good thing, right? To being able to finally make a choice to choose a better person and find a way to live happily. Right?

X_X

"Rey-Rey why are you in nasty mood. I saw you being all hot and heavy with Poein the morning. What happened. Did you got into fight?" Rose asked.

"Just normal messed up stuff. And my dad's being shady these days. I can't go out he gets angry for being late." Rey looked at the book she was reading.

Rose snorts at this. "Come on, what would your dad actually do? Ground you?"

Rey glare at her. "Yes."

"For like a day." She rolls her eyes. "Rey-Rey, your dad adores you. I highly doubt he'd have the heart to actually say no to you."

"Well he sure did this morning over the phone when he said no to me like seventeen times!" Rey snap and slam her locker shut. "Look, whatever. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Just tell me how to get through this." she drags her nails along her scalp and groan.

Rose pulls her hands away from her hair. "Don't be so dramatic. It'll be fine! I doubt he's going to just sit there and glare at you until you burst into flames."

She is so not funny.

"Walk me out." Rey grab her hand and start for the front of the school. "Oh, and I'm about three seconds away from going karate ass on Angel."

"You and me both," Rose growls. "You know that bitch actually had the nerve to talk about Kylo Ren at the lunch table today? I almost flew across the fucking table to choke her before Poe came in. Good idea on eating outside today, by the way."

Rey smirk. "I have my moments."

They both share a small laugh until they step outside, and Rey stumble back a few steps in absolute fucking shock. She blink a few times because she was convinced if she keep doing this the image in front of her will disappear, and she will realize she was just hallucinating. But it's not working. Why can't she just just fucking be a psycho lunatic and have this not be real?

"What the hell is he doing here?" Rose whispers the question Rey was asking herself.

Rey cringe and turns her entire body around. "Tell me that is not Kylo Ren's car and that Shiro Ren is not standing on the other side waiting for me."

Rey squeezes her hand. "That is not Kylo's car, Shiro is not standing there waiting for you, and Kylo did not just step out of the car to stare at you."

Rey peek over her shoulder and sure enough, they're both waiting by Kylo's car. Shiro looks impatient and Kylo just looks… bored.

"This was so not part of the fucking deal," she hissing through her teeth and pull out her phone to scream at her dad.

"No, wait!" Rose takes her phone away. "This could actually be a good thing."

Rey start to worry that maybe she is the one who's crazy.

"On what planet is this a good thing?" Rey ask her angrily.

Kylo honks his horn, and both Rose and she jump in surprise. She heard Shiro chuckle, and she flip him the bird before turning to talk to Rose.

"Closure," she says to her. "This is your closure, Rey. This is what you need to move on and let go. You're with Poenow, and he's perfect. Tell me he's not perfect."

Rey can't tell her he's not. Rey nod her head and squeeze Rose's hand. "Okay." she nod again. "You're right. This is fine. I mean, it's just a ride home anyways, right?"

"Right." She turns them around and starts for the steps.

Her stomach tightens as they make their way closer. "Where's you uncle?" she asks Shiro, completely ignoring Kylo in the process. Rey keep her eyes glued to the ground and her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Something came up," Shiro answers stonily. "I asked Kylo to help me out."

"Don't you have a car of your own?"Rose shoots back.

"In the shop," Shiro growls at her. "Do you speak for Rey now, or does she have a voice of her own?"

Touché, you little shit, Rey think to herself.

Rey lifts her gaze and stare at him. "Don't be a dick, Shiro."

"Whatever." He rolls his eyes and pulls the front seat forward so Rey can climb into the back.

She gulp and give Rose a hug. "Call me when you get home," she says, eyeing Shiro and Kylo. "The second you get home."

She nod and then turn for the car. Rey start to climb into the back when she heard Kylo say, "Wait." her body freezes right where it is. "Shiro, you climb in back."

Rey look up to see Shiro's shocked face.

"The fuck?"

Kylo's eyes are cold. "Come on, Shiro, you know better than to make a chick sit in the back. It's called manners, you rude ass motherfucker."

Rey flinch at his language and then trade spots with Shiro quietly.

"This day just keeps getting better and better," Shiro growls and climbs into the back. He pulls the seat down firmly, and Rey flinch because it's so obvious that he's furious at having to give up his seat to her.

Oh God! She didn't want to ride with them.

Her eyes move to look over the top of the car at Kylo. He's staring right at her with stormy eyes, a fear and excitement running like a spark in her body. She swallow nervously, an action that makes his gaze zero in on her mouth.

"Get in," he ordered gruffly and slams himself inside.

Rey throw Rose one last look and then slide into the passenger seat, and she was not shocked when kylo drove out of the parking lot.

X_X


	6. Chapter 6

Rey was feeling anxious since she left with Kylo in his car.

No one says a word until they stop at the first stoplight, and Kylo goes for the radio. He switches it on and hits the AUX button. Under the stereo, he has his iPod plugged in, and without saying anything he drops the device in Rey's lap. She blinked and look up at him, but he's staring forward as if nothing happened and she imagined the entire thing.

Rey scroll through his playlists and surprised to see that he has a list with different people's names.

Phasma

Kato

Romeo

Shiro

Rey

Rey was frozen when she saw her name.

Upon reading the last playlist title she inhale quickly and look up at Kylo, he knew her favorite songs. He's still facing forward, and she click into the list labeled Rey.

It has to be mine, right? Who the hell else could it be?

She open it up and click the first song at the top.

Stars by xx

I can give it all on the first date

I don't have to exist outside this place

And dear, know that I can change.

She gulp and slumped lower in her seat with the iPod clutched in her hands. She saw him turn slightly to look at her. She bite her bottom lip and start to nibble it as she think about what this means. And why the hell is this song so perfect to describe them on that night?

She listen to the lyrics and resist the urge to look up at Kylo every time a line in the song seems to fit their situation. Which would mean she was staring at him through the entire song. Unable to handle it anymore, she press a button for the next song in the shuffle, and Hero by Enrique Iglesias comes on. She just closed her eyes and listened.

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?

Or would you laugh? Oh, please tell me this

Now would you die for the one you love?

Oh hold me in your arms tonight

I can be your hero baby..

I can be your hero...

When she relaxed and start to just go with the flow, she suddenly yelped when car was stop by the breaks. Rey saw the black range rover behind Kylo's car. She looked at him for any kind of explanation . He doesn't say anything—of course—but he gets out of the car and folds his seat for Shiro to get out.

Rey froze when she saw Kato Ren slip out from the driver's side of the black range rover in front of them, and she started to get nervous.

Shiro gets out of the car angrily and glares at Kylo the whole time. "I can't believe you convinced me to do this," he growls and throws a look at her before he scowls at Kylo again. "If you…" He pauses and shakes his head. "Just remember what we talked about."

Kylo nods. Rey has learn that he is not a man of many words.

"You got one hour, and then I'm looking for you. I swear you're wasting your time and my patience." His eyes are alight with a fiery threat. "Just don't fucking forget what I said to you." He shakes his head and goes to the passenger side of the range rover , where he gets in and slams the door.

"Later." Kato nod for once again and jumps in his car before peeling out. These guys definitely have a thing for fast cars and making noise.

Kylo waits until they're completely out of sight before he slips back into his car. He doesn't slam the door, but he shuts it firmly.

Rey was anxious.

She waited for him to start the engine again, but all he does is stare at the steering wheel instead. She played with the iPod in her hands while she wait to see if he's ever going to say anything. She was sure as hell won't break the silence first.

He shakes his head and laughs quietly to himself, and then he reaches in front of her to open the glove box. There's a pack of cigarettes, along with a small black box and a handful of unopened cigars. He grabs the cigarettes and puts one between his lips. He holds the box out to her, and she shakes her head. He shrugs and throws it back in the glove compartment, and then he slams it shut.

It's cold in his car, and Rey shivered and run her hands up and down her arms. She heard him flick his lighter and turn to see him light up and inhale deeply. The smoke comes out of his nose as he starts to shrug out of his leather jacket.

"Here," he mumbles around his cigarette and holds the jacket out to her.

Rey did not want to take it, but she didn't want to be cold either. Besides, something tells her if she say no to him he'll put it on her anyway. He doesn't like to hear no; it's obvious in everything he does. He starts up the car and pulls back out onto the road.

She start to think they're just going to drive to her house in silence, but when she pressed play on the iPod, he slaps the power button on the stereo, shutting it off.

Rey sigh in annoyance and cross her arms over my chest. "Why are you doing this?" she mumbled.

He makes her wait a few beats before he answers. "You ask more questions than you answer." He blows a cloud of smoke out his window, and she started to chew on the inside of her cheek.

"Well I hope you know it's too late. Whatever it is you think you're going to say to convince me that you're not a—"

"Shut up!" he snaps angrily.

Her mouth immediately snaps shut, and she hate that she always just obey every command he gives her, without question. As if she was the puppet and he was her master, she can almost feel him controlling her strings. He always knows with ones to pull.

"You said your piece the last time we were together. Now it's my turn." He flicks his cigarette out his window and rolls it up.

Rey wanted to ask him who the fuck Phasma is. Lord knows she could find out about Phasma if she wanted, probably without much effort.

But right now Angel has threatened her so far.

"Angel knows," she replied against his wishes.

He doesn't seem to care very much, and that makes her angry.

"Did you hear me?" Rey asked, her voice getting louder.

"Yes." His tone is borderline irritated.

She crossed her arms. "Well do you care?"

"You obviously do," he mutters. His face is twisted into this ugly scowl that makes her really uncomfortable. Mostly because she knew that it's there because of her. She don't want to be the reason he looks like he wants to kill someone.

"Pull over," Rey hissed at him. He ignores her, and she snapped at him again, "I said pull over, now!"

He slams on the beaks, and the tires squeal as they skid against the concrete road. She smell rubber, and it burns her nose, but She was so pissed that she didn't even care.

Rey whirled around to shout at him again but stop herself . He's breathing hard, and his eyes are murderous. His fingers clench the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles are pure white.

He cuts the engine and slams a hand onto the wheel so hard that she jumped in her seat and feeling every hair on her body stand on end. Her mouth has run dry and her body was in flight mode, but her head and heart wanted a fight.

Why am I so stupid? She thought.

"Goddamn it!" he roars and hits the wheel again. This time the car honks when he slaps the horn.

"You're scaring me," Rey whispered in all honesty.

He starts to laugh. Low, bitter laughter that just add to her anxiety. Her hand touches the door handle and her eyes dart to the lock.

Rey watches him closely as he stares at the wheel, trying to calm down. She licked her lips and slowly start to move her fingers over the lock on the door. Its one of those thing metal ones that sticks up at the top of the door. Her fingers are shaky, but she went for the lock anyway, and in one quick move Rey pull it up and grab the handle.

"Shit!" Kylo gasps and dives over the seat to pull her back inside.

"Get off me!" Rey shouting at him and fight to get him to let her go.

He's easily about ten times stronger than her. "Knock it off!" he yells in her face. "Stop fighting me! I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Let go!" Rey scream as loud as she can.

"Fine!" he practically roars back and shoves her against the car door.

Her shoulder hits the pulled up lock on the door, and it feels like someone's stabbed her. She lift a shaky hand to pull through her crazed golden hairs and immediately start to cry.

Rey's emotions were all over the place when it comes to Kylo Ren . And she hates him for it.

"Don't cry," he growls.

It just makes her cry harder.

"Stop it," he yelled.

Rey shook her head and bangs her knees to her chest while she curled up on his seat.

"Please baby, stop crying. Baby, I'm fucking sorry, okay? Just stop… I can't handle… fuck." He jumps out of the car and rushes around to her side.

The door was jerked open, and he kneels down to look up at her. "I'm sorry," he whispers and pulls her hands away from her face.

Rey hiccup into her knees. "I hate you," she whimpers.

I do; I hate him. So much.

She heard him gulp. "I know," he replies in a calmer tone.

"I r-really, r-reallyh-hate you," her words are shaky as she struggles to control her tears.

"I deserve that," he agrees with her and pushes the hair out of herface.

Rey lifted her head and wipe her hands over her eyes. She so glad that she was too tired this morning to put on any makeup, or else she would be so screwed right now.

He pulls her legs down from her chest and turns her body so that she was facing him.

"Hey," he sighs, "look at me, please."

She did, but her vision's blurry.

Kylo slides his thumb over both her cheeks to rid of face of the tear streaks. "I'm a fucking asshole," he says but it sounds like he's talking to himself. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm sorry. All I wanted was a chance to explain…"

"Who is Phasma?" Rey jumped right into the main reason.

He breathes through his nose and runs his hands through his hair. "My next door neighbor." He looks up at her and stares into her eyes. "She's also one of my best friends, and I love her like a sister."

Rey keep staring at him, silently asking him to continue. That's not good enough for her. He must sense this because he starts talking again. He puts his hands on her exposed knees and rubs his thumbs over them.

"Remember when I told you I was on my own after my parents died and toxic experience with shitty motherfuckin Foster?" he asks.

Rey nod. "Since you were 12,"

He gives a small smile; he's happy she remember. "Yeah. Well, my luck was good that I met Skywalker around 12. He is one of biggest attorneys in here. He took care of me and when I was 16 he helped me along." Rey took this all in and listen as he keeps going. "I've been friends with Phasma since pre teen , longer than I've even known Shiro and Kato." He scratches the back of his head and sighs.

"She's the one who knew about…" He pauses and frowns. "Shit that was going down at home. Eventually it got to the point that I started staying at her and her sister's place."

Rey nod so that he knows she is still with him. She even touch the top of his hand over her left knee with the tips of her fingers. It feels like magnets. The second she touched him, she had to snap onto him completely, and she does so by grabbing his hand and placing it between her.

It fits perfectly. Like two pieces of missing puzzle.

"Phasma's sister was dating a guy who was new to the system, but he was hard working and loyal." He squeezes her knee with his other hand.

"Skywalker? She felt disturbing the sister sounds young but have a relationship with an old attorney," Rey finish.

"No his grandson Jerome." he corrected her.

"So Skywalker was like your uncle who helped you?" she asked.

He nods. "He helped me come to the decision to legally take care of myself. He helped me find a job. Skywalker helped me to learn how to survive in this world and I am not the lost innocent kid anymore who cried millions of nights for his parents but."

Rey hear a "but" coming…

"But I was young and stupid, and Skywlker showed me what happened to kids who had that same mentality. He took me to a group home, a homeless shelter, and a rehabilitation center, and he showed me all these pamphlets and statistics and shit I don't ever want to see again." His hand tightens over her knee, and Rey squeeze his other hand harder between her.

"Phasma is just my friend, Babe." Once again he stares into her eyes. "That's it. Sometimes I can't sleep, and I bother her because she's right there, and she knows why I can't sleep."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Rey asked him.

He closes his eyes and shrugs. "I don't know? I just don't want you to write me off because you think I'm gonna play you. I'm not." He shakes his head. "you have no idea how long I've waited for a chance to…"

She felt her heart stopped. She is not that good and strong to be with a hurricane like Kylo. She wasn't just that girl for him. She hate what she about to say next.

"Kylo," she sighed.

"Don't." He holds a hand up. "Don't call me Kylo. Not you."

She licked her lips and start again. "Ben," she said and looked at him, "I'm with Poe now."

She waited for it to click for him, but it doesn't. "So break up with him." He shrugs, as if this is an easy fix.

She shake her head in denial. "I can't."

"Why not?" His eyes start to cloud over. "Are you saying you don't want to be with me?" He pulls his hands away and pushes up to his feet so that he's standing over her

"Don't do that." she climb outside the car and poke his chest.

"Don't do what?" he snaps. "Make you actually answer a fucking question for once?"

"I can't do this with you, Ben, You don't understand, okay? It's not like I can just dump him and be with you. It doesn't work like that. I'm already a pariah among most of my peers, and people like Angel makes my life hell since mom is gone I'm not that strong girl you think I am but it's just a false facade. If I dump the fucking 'Golden Boy' of high school for you they will never forgive me."

"What the fuck does it matter what they think or what they say? Transfer out; go to Korriban with me. People ain't that much toxic there." He rams his fingers through his hair.

"I know you feel this, Rey ," he says and motions between them. "You felt it that night, and you feel it now. So the fuck what if circumstances are against us? Are you seriously that shallow?"

His words hit her like a slap across her face. She visibly flinch and back away from him, and he cringes because he knows he's lost her. She look away from him and fight to keep her expression from betraying just how much that his words hurt.

"Take me home," she mutter acidly.

"You know what?" He chuckles, and she angrily glare up at him. "Fine," he snaps. "I'm not kissing your ass. I told you what I had to say. I just fucking shared with you something that only about five people know about me, and you throw it back in my face. Thanks a lot, Rey." He scoffs in disgust and walks over to get into his car.

She felt her world collapse in front of her eyes.

She gulp and quietly get onto the car, waiting for him to drive her home.

"You know, Shiro told me you were a bitch? But I never once thought he could actually be right." He scowls at the steering wheel. "Guess the joke's on me, huh?"

He drives her home without another word. When they roll up to the driveway, she saw her dad's car already park, and she know she is about to get in trouble. But she don't care. She has about ten seconds to get inside before she break the fuck down.

Slowly, she pulled her arms out of Kylo jacket, and then she just open the door and got out. She barely step outside and shut the door behind her before he takes off so fast that it kicks up a cloud of dust in her face.

Rey gulped and turn around just in time to see her dad swing the door open and look around until his eyes settle on her. "Rey ?" he asks, curious.

"Hey, Dad." she raised a hand to wave, and her voice cracks at the end.

"What's wrong?" He steps outside the house and looks hard at her puffy eyes. "Who was that? Did someone hurt you? Did Cassian met you? I had asked him to pick you up."

She shook her head and walk inside. "I don't feel good, Dad. I'm just gonna take a shower and go to bed." she shoved past him and rush up stairs before he can stop her. She stumble into the bathroom and turn all the knobs on high, letting the shower drown out the first sob that escapes her lips. He was right; they were right.

Kylo.. Shiro… whoever else keeps their opinions of her to themselves.

She was a shallow, little, whore bitch. The revelation is not sweet; it hurts more than she can say. Rey felt like she'd hurt Kylo, even though a part of her keeps saying that no one can hurt him. He's a stone wall when it comes to emotions. But today he looked at her as if she had bulldozed that wall right to the ground.

She came outside and took her mother's photo out from the drawer next to the table on her right side.

She traced the picture. Her mother looked happy, graceful and full of life and the little baby smiled along with her.

Pic was taken when she was born.

She needs her mother to tell her everything will be alright. This will be perfect after the storm. She is brave enough to face a thunder storm like Kylo Ren.

But something hit her when she picked up her phone and send three words message to Poe.

"Let's break up."

X_X

Next day Rey did not see her father but a note on the table with her breakfast that Cassian will pick her up again because he had to go for the final hearing of kidnapping case.

Rey didn't care about what's happening around her. She was silent. Rose kept asking her all day what was wrong. Rey was glad that Poe did not come to school. He had to go out of town for urgent work.

School was over and Rose still bombing her with questions. But Rey was froze when. She saw who was waiting for her..

It's Shiro.

Her dad had mentioned that Cassian will pick her up. She took a breath of relief when she didn't spotted Kylo but somewhere in her heart was disappointment. But for what?

Rey ignored Rose when she hopped to the passenger side. Shiro was Clarissa' s brother and Cassian only son but he was a Knight.

"What are you doing here?" Rey asked him without much conviction. She was tired, and all she wanted want to go home, and she was avoiding Rose so she jumped inside Shiro's car.

Shiro, who is leaning against his car like some sort of GQ ad, pushes off the hood and opens the passenger door for her. "Get in," is all he says.

"Where is uncle Cassian?" she ask, ignoring his order.

He rolls his eyes. "I obviously called and convinced him to let me pick you up."

"My dad knows we don't get along, Shiro. No way would he let you come here." Rey crossed her arms defiantly.

Shiro smirks, and she try to imagine how many girls' pants he's gotten into using that same cocky expression. "I may or may not have misled him a bit," he shrugs.

Upon a closer inspection, she can see the hint of a fading bruise just below his chin and the corner of his lip is scabbed over. But she pretend she didn't notice this. "Like how?" she narrowed her eyes at him.

He sighs and shakes his head, done playing this game of twenty questions with her. "Your dad thinks my dad aka Cassian is picking you up. Just like he thought my dad was picking you up yesterday."

Rey swallowed the bile she feel creeping up her throat and charge forward until she was folded inside his car.

"Good choice," he mocks her and shuts her door.

Rey look up and expect to see if Rose was staring at her, but she's not there. She look around for her or anyone else she recognize, and there is no one. She pull out her phone to see if she's left her any messages, but there is no word from her.

"Trouble in paradise?" Shiro pokes fun at her grouchy mood as he starts up his car and loudly revs the engine.

"Just take me home," she mutter and stare out her window.

She saw him shake his head in the window's reflection. "Oh, if only it were that simple."

Rey don't ask him what he means. At this point, she really don't care what happens to her.

Her life was twisted in worse cases.

-x-

Rey knew Shiro was in a fight because he had a fading bruises she wanted to ask him about his face. She want to ask him when he started listening to Eminem, 50 Cent, and Tupac? But she don't. Rey know better than to say a damn word right now.

Rey knew not to expect him to drive her straight home. So when they pass by the strawberry Street that leads to her house, she know she was in for some seriously awkward conversation.

His stereo is loaded, and the car literally shakes from the bass in every song. Right now, he's blasting Dr. Dre's latest and actually like this song, but she don't want him to know that in case he changes the song to spite her.

Is this really what once childhood close friends has become, he and her ?

First they weren't the closest of friends back in the day, but after that he was still a friend regardless. He was her first friend in town after her mother died and her father met Cassian and she met Clarissa and Shiro, pretty much the only friend she had for almost an entire life before she enter high school and last year she messed around with Kylo and everything changed.

They didn't hang out on the weekends; he had his own friends and his own parties to go to. He never invited her to any, but she wouldn't have accepted had he asked her. It was a rare occasion that he'd blow off his friends to spend the day with her. Otherwise, they would only really see each other when their dads hung out and dragged them along.

He suddenly started avoiding her. Shiro forgot about the close friends they were. So she was not going to forget his ass that easily.

She pulled out her phone to see if she have any messages, and she only find one. She expect it's from Rose, or maybe even Poe. But she was shocked to see that it's from Fin. She open it and laugh because once again because when all the text says is:did u take notes in Spanish? Can I have? Plzzzz!

Rey shook her head and text him back that she'll make him a copy and bring it in tomorrow. She sigh, resting her head on her seat when her phone suddenly buzzes with Fin's reply.

Oh, and btw… WTF? U broke up Poe via SMS and not a single explanation?

That's more like it. Rey press all the appropriate buttons and respond by completely avoiding answering his questions. So her reply goes something like this:is it ok if I hand write the notes? My printers out of ink.

His reply is instant:Nice try. I'm onto u. Talk l8er.

Shit. She shut her phone off completely and drop it into her bag on the floorboard. We fly down Sanore and she start to worry that we're going to Korriban. Her eyes dart over to stare at him, and then she gulp and suck it up. "Where are we going?"

"She speaks!" he shouts without turning to look at her.

She rolled her eyes, "Seriously Shiro, this could be considered kidnapping."

"Not when you willingly got into the car," he mutters and does a hard turn at the next corner so that she fly across her seat and hit the window. "Lots of witnesses can attest to that," he adds.

Rey huff and brush away all the hair that's fallen into her eyes. "Why are you doing this? You hate me."

He snorts and licks his wounded lip. "Maybe I'm trying to see if you harbor any redeeming qualities."

Is he fucking kidding me?

"I haven't seen any yet, by the way," he rookies shortly after.

Her mouth sets into a thin, tight line. "If this has to do with Kylo…." she turn in her seat to face him. "You're wasting your time."

Shiro still refuses to look at her. "No," he mutters through gritted teeth, "and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell him about this."

Rey curl her lip at him. "And I would appreciate it if you'd kiss my ass."

"You sure don't disappoint, do you Rey-Rey?" he chuckles and shakes his head in a way that makes her feel like there's a joke about her in there.

"What do you want?" she asked him and roll down her window to stick her hand outside. "Really," she demand the truth.

He sighs and rubs a hand over his face.

"Explain to me what the fuck is going on between you and Kylo."

Rey snort, "Like he hasn't told you all the sordid details. Don't act like he didn't give you and Kato a full play by play."

"Well that answers my next question." He frowns, and his expression is one of disappointment. "Remember when we were friends?"

She snort.

He laughs because he knows how stupid that question was. "I know it's filed away in one of those 'lock this up and throw away the key' cabinets." He rolls his eyes. "But do you remember what I used to say about my friends?"

Rey sigh and decide to indulge him. "Stay away from them," she mumble in answer.

He nods. "Do you remember why I told you that?"

She figure it can't be that hard to guess. "They're players."

He shrugs. "They are, but that's not why I warned you against them. They're not bad guys; they're just not the best guys." He pauses and drives a few seconds in silence before he starts up again. "They're troubled, Rey ," he says. "At the time, I thought I was protecting you."

Rey frown in confusion. That is not at all how he'd made it seem.

"But I see now it was all for nothing. That bastard Kylo, He still fucking got to you, even though he swore to me he'd stay as far away from you as possible." He shakes his head. "Imagine what that's done to our friendship."

She nibble on her bottom lip and bring her hand up to chew on the end of her thumbnail. "What happened to your face?" she mumble.

He smirks and touches his wounds. "You should see the other guy."

A rush of fear washes over me. "What did you do to Kylo?"

"Nothing he didn't deserve," Shiro snaps at her. "You see, there was a reason I told you that Kato would have been the better alternative, had you ever decided to go there…"

She begun to chew her nail into almost nothing. "Why?" she ask.

"Because I know Kato would never choose a chick over his friends," he spits out angrily. "Kato understood what you meant to me. Kylo…" He chuckles humorlessly. "Did you know he's had a hard-on for you since before you even came to town and he hadn't met you yet?"

Rey stop chewing. Her thumb remains where it is. She cannot move.

"Yup," he keeps talking, "Dad's always been so proud of you. You were always the little girl he never had. Because my sister Calriaa always a drunk rebellious cunt but you were always perfect golden girl Rey."

Rey sense a bit of resentment in his tone but she say and do nothing about it. "Your pictures through the years have always been added to the mantle above the fireplace in our house. And sometimes, when Dad was feeling extra loving, he'd like to remind us how much of a loser we were compared to you. Best part? He liked to say it in front of my boys."

Rey gulp and dropped her hand into her lap.

"Kato would just roll his eyes when Dad started in. We just tuned him out. But that bastard Kylo?" He snickers. "It was like the fucker was hypnotized. Sure, he pretended to be just as bored as we were. But when he was the one reminding me it was your fourteenth, fifteen.. birthdays on every damn July 17th. I knew something was up."

Why is he telling me all of this? To warn me away? To tell me to stay?What?

"I know our last real conversation ended with us breaking off our friendship, and I'm not asking to fix that. I just want you to know a few things before you go on your merry way." she hate how condescending he sounds. "First, I don't hate you. I never did. Was I disappointed? Yes. Hurt? Yeah, I was. But I got over it, and I moved on. You made your choice; you chose them. Understandable, given the fact that you go to school with them and not with me."

Rey have to bite her tongue to keep from adding her two cents. He has it all wrong. So wrong.

"Second, I don't resent you, even though my dad drilled it into my head how much better you were than me. He thought he was doing it to motivate me; I get that now. I'm over it." He shrugs this off nonchalantly.

Rey feel him building up to something, and the anticipation is making her nervous.

"Third, I think you're a bitch. Yes, I said it to Kylo. And yes, I believe it. And sadly, you've done nothing but prove me right time after time."

It feels like someone's literally shoved a knife onto her chest right now. Rey press a hand to her heart and try to steady her breathing.

"But that doesn't mean that's all I think you are." At this, he finally turns to look at her "It was because I cared about you, Rey, that I didn't want you to get mixed up with my friends. Kato has commitment issues, and Kylo…" He whistles. "Where do I start?"

She look down at her hands in her lap. This is the most passive she has been in days.

"Fourth, I cared about you as a sister before, and I guess in a way… I still do now. I got into it with Kylo last night over you. I told him to stay away, and he didn't. I tried to tell him that you weren't the same person my dad used to talk about, but he didn't listen. It wasn't so much that he was sprung on you. I think it was more that he was curious about you. Add to that the fact that you were 'forbidden,' and I should have known he'd see you as a challenge and want you even more." they exit off the next ramp, and he drives over a bridge to turn around and start back home.

"And whatever happened that night…" Shiro grimaces. "He won't reveal the details. Based on your reaction earlier, I'm glad he didn't. But whatever it was that went down, it's turned him inside out, Rey. So I'm asking you right now…" He looks right at her. "Are you in or out?"

She wrinkle her brow, confused. "In or out of what?"

He smiles more to himself than to her and says, "Let me ask you this first. Are you into my boy Kylo?"

She find myself answering before she actually stop to think about it. "Yes."

He doesn't look satisfied with her answer. A part of her thinks he was hoping she would say no. "Fine. Then I have two more questions to ask you. One, do you want to be with him? And two, do you understand what being with Kylo Ren actually means?"

Rey remains silent.

"I don't expect you to answer right now. I'd actually prefer that you think this over really hard. Because being with Kylo isn't simple. He has trust and abandonment issues, he's possessive and jealous, and he has one hell of a temper. He's one intense motherfucker, Rey , and everyone will expect you to be the one to handle him when he loses his cool. Do you think you can handle that?"

Her answer is simple and honest. "No." she sadly shake her head back and forth. "I'd really like to be able to say yes, Shiro, but I can't. I can barely handle myself, and even then I'm failing miserably. I like him, but I don't know him. Yeah, I feel a connection. I do, but…" she shake her head and laugh at myself softly. "You make being with him sound like a full time job. I'm seventeen fucking years old, and this is some deep shit you just dropped on me. It's just way beyond my maturity level."

He nods his head in understanding. "I appreciate your being honest with me."

They drive the rest of the way home in silence.

X_X

Shiro pulls up to her house and rolls to a stop at the end of the driveway. She know this is where she was supposed to get out and go inside. They will act like this never happened, and they will both go on with our separate lives. But she has come to realize something in the past half hour, something that she had to say out loud just for the hell of it.

"I miss you Shiro and our times," she say with one hand on the door handle and the other clutching the shoulder strap on her messenger bag. "I'm not saying that so you'll feel obligated to do anything about it. I just wanted you to know that… I miss you."

His hands tighten around the wheel, but he stays quiet, so she take that as a sign that she can keep talking.

Rey took a deep breath. "We weren't super close, but we weren't strangers either. You were my friend, and I took our friendship for granted. I didn't realize that letting you walk out the door meant losing someone I could really count on."

She let him stew over that for a while. He's still staring forward, but his brow isn't so wrinkled anymore, and his hands aren't gripping the wheel like before. She want him to say something, but she was not sure what that is. So she guess his silence is actually sort of a good thing. It means he's thinking about what she was saying.

But she can't handle the silence right now. So she start talking again. Only this time, she can't stop.

"I hate it at that school. I hate walking up every morning and having to walk into that place. Everyone is so fake, and I always have to watch what I say and what I do. I couldn't stand being invisible anymore. Did you know that I thought you were embarrassed to hang out with me because I wasn't cool enough?" she laugh as she say this because she see now how ridiculous she was to think that.

Shiro turns his head and looks over at her with an expression of surprise and disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me right now, Rey ?"

Her head moves from side to side. "That was one of the reasons I thought becoming popular would be a good thing. You never wanted to hang around me unless I begged you, or you had to. If you couldn't even stand me, then no wonder no one wanted to be my damned friend at school."

"Rey …" He turns his whole body now.

"Don't." she hold up a hand to stop him. "You had your reasons. Now I'm telling you mine. I told you to mind your business that day you tried to convince me to quit my high school… because I couldn't understand why you were trashing my new friends. I still, to this day, don't agree with what you said about Rose, but you were totally right about everyone else."

"I…" He looks down and shakes his head slowly before he looks up at her again. "I didn't want to be right, Rey ."

She shrug and face him. "Doesn't matter now, does it?"

He sighs and leans back into his chair. "No, I guess not."

"You said I would change and become just like them. Funny thing is that I didn't even realize you were right until yesterday, while I was talking to Kylo. That's two for three, Shiro." she laugh and wiped her cheek where a tear's fallen.

I'm not crying. I'm just frustrated. I'm tired.

Of everything.

"I don't know why I went with Kylo that night. I don't…" she bite her lip and look down at her lap. "I'm not… like that. I don't randomly hook up with strangers." she look up at him quickly. "But when I was standing there next to him that night?" she look out the window and recall everything from memory. "I remember feeling so out of place without Rose there with me at that party. I went outside just to getaway from that feeling when I was terribly missing my mom…" she pause to run her fingers through her hair and scratch her scalp. "And there was Kylo Ren, a perfect distraction."

"So that's all he is then." Shiro's tone holds an edge of bitterness. "A distraction from your powder puff life," he scoffs.

"No!" she was sure to correct him quickly. "That's not what he is… was…"she sigh and clench her eyes shut. "I don't know okay ? I mean it's not like I wasn't up front about it. He knew I wanted to get away from that part of myself, and he went with it. And for a moment it was just us. Like it was just… him and me. There was no social hierarchy or rich or poor… it was him and me."

Shiro looks confused, but he at least he isn't looking at her with contempt. She can live with that. For now.

"And afterwards, when I was sure the moment was over, and it was time to go back to reality, he asked me to go home with him. I couldn't believe it wh—"

"He what?" Shiro's entire attitude changes from contemplative to absolute shock and disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me right now, Rey ? He asked you to his apartment?"

She nod, she was unable to do much else.

"Motherfucker…" he hisses under his breath and smacks the wheel as he mutters a bunch of indecipherable words to himself. "You don't even…" He shakes his head at me and turns his face away.

Rey gulp and nervously crack her knuckles in her lap. Shiro doesn't talk for a while, and she don't move because she know he's working up to telling her something she need to hear.

Obviously Kylo Ren inviting her to his place is a big deal. But why is it a big deal?

"You wanna know why it's such a huge fucking deal that he invited you to his place?" he mumbles with his head on his fist as he faces away from her staring out his window.

Rey folded hands in her lap, unclasp them, and then thread her fingers together. Her entire body is starting to feel tingly with fear. There's a low ringing in her ears , and she feel like she should shiver because it's cold, but at the same time, she think she was actually sweating.

"Why?" she barely manage to croak the word out. She chew my lip to keep calm.

Shiro chooses now to drop his hand and turn his face towards her. "Because I've been his best friend for eight years, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to his apartment since he got it. Not only that, but it took him forever before he even allowed me inside. It's the same with Kato. But he knows you one-night and is like come on in!"

She felt the world explosion in her life. What the fuck? Why am I so fucking important to a guy who pretty much blacks out in rage and beats people unconscious? A guy who openly doesn't give a fuck. A guy who's probably seen more ass than Lebron James. I'm nothing special. I'm not super smart. I don't light up a room when I walk into it, and I for damn sure don't have anything resembling a sparkling personality.

So why me?

She thought shaking.

"I didn't ask for this," Rey mumble with her fingers on her lips as she shake her head slowly.

She never imagined that the implications of that night would come back like a fucking pit bull to bite her in the ass. But now she was thinking back, and she was remembering more and more, and she was analyzing it and dissecting it, and shit —shit—shit! Why didn't she think to question him about it before?

I've been waiting a very, very long time for this moment, Love...

Don't call me Kylo, not you…

Do you have any idea how long I've…

Yeah, one night that obviously meant more to me than it did to you…

I've known you for a long time even we did not met…

"Rey ." she felt Shiro hand touched her shoulder, and she almost jump two feet in the air. "Shit," he curses at her with wide eyes. "Rey !" He shakes her until she was out of her stupor and clenching her hands around his arms to stop him.

"I can't." she shake her head vigorously and shove him away from her "It's too much, okay? I didn't ask for this!" she scream at him and push the car door open to stumble outside. "He's a fucking ticking time bomb, Shiro!" she whirl around and shout. "You can't ask me to deal with that. How do I know he won't turn around and take it out on me one day? His anger scares the hell out of me, SHiro!"

Shiro blinks at her mouth slight ajar and speechless and shocked.

"I like the guy who was in the pool room with me that night we first met." she wiped her teary face with a lazy hand. "Not the guy he actually is." she turn around and start for the front door of her house. She hear Shiro shout for her, but she didn't stop.

There's nothing left to say.

-x-


	7. Chapter 7

Next day in school Poe tried to talk to her but Rey didn't wanted to talk to him she was avoiding everything. But what hurt her the most was Rose, she wasn't talking to her either. She was blaming Rey for breaking up with with the good guy like Poe.

Rey couldn't believe it.

Rose actually freaking mad at her , so much so that she didn't even come to school today. Rey totally freaking Serious. Rose Tico is not at school, and she won't answer her phone. Rey was prepared to grovel at her feet, but now… What the hell?

"Fin!" Rey ran up to Fin in the hall between second and third period. "Hey, wait up, big guy!"

He stops and looks over his shoulder. "Oh hey, Rey ."

"Have you heard from Rose today?" she rush to keep in step with Fin's long legs.

His face grows concerned. "No, why?"

"She's not here," she told him, "and she's not picking up her phone."

"Maybe she's pissed at you because of your diva act yesterday." He shrugs his shoulders.

Ouch.

"Okay." Rey took a breath. "I can see that you're upset. You're Poe's best friend, and—"

"I'm not mad because of that," he's quick to correct her. Then he stops walking, and she stagger to a stop and walk back a few steps to stand beside him.

"Then what is it?" she asked nervously.

He regards her less severely than before. "Just a little disappointed is all. I didn't expect you to get all big headed when you started dating Poe."

"Big headed?" Rey scoff in disbelief. "Fin, you gotta be kidding me! You know I didn't ask Rose or Poe to force everyone to do what I said!"

"Maybe not, but you overreacted when you dumped Poe and fought with Rose. Did you know that I had to take her home yesterday? Poe drove her car home for her. She was really fucking upset, and whatever you said not only hurt her, but it hurt Poe, too." He's seriously let down by her;Rey can see it in his face. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but friends don't make other friends feel like shit for trying to help."

Rey nod. "You're right. I overreacted, okay? But you have to admit that some of the people here are real dickheads."

He chuckles. "Yeah, but that doesn't make it okay for you to be one, too."

"Fin." Rey blink up at him, shocked. "When did you become Yoda?"

He rolls his eyes and holds out a big paw. "Hand over those notes you promised me, and I'll think about being your friend again. Lord knows you need one."

Rey pulled her bag around and give him the notes. "Thanks, Fin."

"All in a day's work." He winks and spins around to walk to class.

X_X

After talking to Fin Rey realized she really had fucked up pretty bad. Now it was time to ask for forgiveness. Rose wasn't at school so the next one was Poe.

Right now Rey was standing outside the boys' locker room waiting for him to come out. He has weight training this period, right before lunch. She wad hoping to catch him when he's off his guard and then somehow persuade him not to hate her and be friends.

"Well, well, look who it is…" Hux taunts her as he saunters out with wet hair from his shower.

Rey really hated him.

"Knock it off Hux," Poe barks as he walks out behind him. He barely glances at Rey before he brushes past and starts walking away.

This may take some groveling.

"Poe, wait!" Rey chased after him. "I'm sorry." she start easy.

"Not good enough," he grunts and keeps walking.

Rey grab ahold of one of the straps of his backpack and pull. "Poe, stop!" she cry out to him. "I said I was sorry!"

"And I don't care!" he snaps back at her and jerks his strap out of her grasp. "Damn, Rey . You didn't even give me a chance yesterday. Give me one reason why I should give you one?"

He stares and waits for her to respond. Most students walk around them, but some slow down to listen, and a few stop altogether. Rey hate how nosy everyone is. She hate that when she is with Poe, she wants be with him, but when she away from him, she think of a million reasons why she doesn't want to be with him.

Don't call me Kylo, not you…

Yeah, one night that obviously meant more to me than it did to you…

Do you have any idea how long I've…

I've been waiting a very, very long time for this moment, Love…

Don't call me Kylo…

Don't call me Kylo…

Don't call me Kylo…

Ben's voice echoes in her ears over and over, until finally she decide she have to make it stop. She throws herself forward and pressing her lips against Poe's. She kissed him, closed mouthed kisses, but passionate ones. He stands there and doesn't move to touch or kiss her back. But she kissed him anyway.

She just wanted everything about Kylo Ren to go ,Poe, please make him go away…

Rey start to slow down when she realize he's not going to kiss her back. Now they're embarrassed beyond belief and sad that they've ruined a good thing. Rey knew it was good when she had it before, but she still threw it away. How stupid does that make her?

"Okay then,"

She mumble to herself , but she was close enough to Poe that he hears her. Rey pulled away slowly, her eyes looking everywhere but at him—and definitely not at any of the people who've been standing around watching them.

She took a step back. Another. Another… Rey turn and walk away. Wow, so this is what rock bottom feels like. Rose won't talk to her, Fin disappointed in her, and now Poe won't forgi—

She did not t finish her train of thought. She was swung around by her wrist, and a warm mouth crashes against hers. It's not a slow kiss. It's fast and sloppy, but it's real, and it's Poe. She kissed him back with fervor and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry." she breathed in between kisses and gasps for air.

She can't stop, she can't pull away. She was wrapped up in him, and she feel great and safe and happy and… relieved. So, so relieved.

"I'm sorry, too," he says and grabs her face with his hands to slow her down. "Rey …" His tone makes her pause. "I promise we will never leave each other, okay?"

Rey was all too aware of her swollen lips and fast-beating heart, "I can't promise not to overreact sometimes." she shrug guiltily. "It's a hard habit to kick."

He chuckles and leans over to loudly smack a kiss on her lips. "You're really fucking adorable, baby. You know that?"

Rey blink up at him and give a coy smile. "I do now."she laugh softly. "Can we eat outside? I just want to be alone with you." her fingers playing with his hair.

"Want me to find Rose and Fin—?"

"No." Rey shake her head. "Just you."

He grins widely. "Sounds perfect."

While they walk to the lunch line to get their food, Rey cannot help but feel a little, giddy tingle inside of her

Poe meant well. He was trying to take care of her. That's what she need. Someone to take care of her broken self. Rose can't do that forever, and she is not strong enough to do it herself .

Poe is perfect for the job because he doesn't yell unless it's justified, and he doesn't hit things when he's upset.

He's simple. He's Poe. He's safe .

He'd never hurt her like Kylo Ren could.

X_X

Step two is fulfilled, and step one needs to be complete before she can move on to step three –which is to be on her own damned person. Screw Hux and Angel and whoever else gives her shit about who she date or who is she best friends with. Why should she feel guilty about that?

She was feeling weird since Rose was absent. It was history period and Mr. Katta was telling about old games which were held in ancient times where guild participated. Suddenly her phone rang with shrill. She hadn't put it on silent.

Rose Calling…

She frown at her screen and wonder why she's calling her during class, when she knows she is in the middle of freaking class! But then she start to think that Rose isn't stupid, and if she's calling her in the middle of class, it's because it's a damned emergency, and now she was kind of freaking out.

Her phone rings again.

Rose Calling…

Mr. Katta walks towards her desk, and in a split second decision, Rey grabbed her phone, bag, books and once flawless reputation for perfect behavior… and start for the door.

Rey push the door open and rush outside. "This better be good, Rose," she answered her phone and almost drop everything in her hands, "because I might get suspended for this."

Rose doesn't answer right away, but it's not on purpose. It's because she's crying so hard she can't breathe. "REY-REY," she sobs, "I n-need you t-to co-come get m-me."

"Okay," comes Rey's immediate answer, "I'm coming to get you. Where are you?" she ask as she stumble down the hall towards the parking lot.

"Avaz," she hiccups. "At the women's cl-clinic."

Her stomach drops to the floor.

"Why are you there, Rose?" Rey gulp.

"Why do you t-think, Rey ?" she screams at her. "Just c-come get m-me!"

Her words cause Rey's feet to start moving again. "Okay, I'll be there. Wait for me. Stay on the phone with me."

"No, j-just focus on g-getting h-here. I just w-want to be alone ri-right now." In their entire friendship, Ray had never heard her sound so miserable. Not even when her grandfather died last year, and they'd been close. She commands Rey not to tell a soul where she going, not even Poe or Fin.

When they hang up, Rey hurry out into the parking lot and search for her car. She was running up and down the aisles, and she can't find it. Why the hell can't she find her car? Her ankle is starting to ache from her sprint, and that's when it hits her.

Her dad hasn't given her car keys back. They have even argued over it this morning, resulting in his finally relenting and saying she could have it back next week. She hate being dropped off like a child and picked up like a latchkey kid, especially since Shiro has been the one to pick her twice so far this week.

Rey stop walking and stand in the middle of the parking feel like there's a light bulb that's been switched on over her head.

Shiro!I never erased his number from her phone. Rey don't know why, but in this moment she was so grateful that she didn't. She scramble for her phone and dial him—and then she hang up. What the hell? Why on earth would she think Shiro would help her? It's not like they parted with hugs last night.

But then again, they didn't part with name calling either. She have no one else to call. No one else would come. She knew Shiro enough to know that despite everything, he'll still come when she need him.

Rey at least know that after their talk last night. Before she can dial him again, her phone goes off, and Shiro's name flashes across her screen.

"Shiro!" she cried in relief. "Oh my gosh, I really didn't know if you would answer. Well, I knew you would answer, but I didn't know if you help me. But you called, so I'm hoping you will help me. I need a ride. I need—"

"Since when are you and Shiro friends again?"

Kylo spits out, and the blood melts away from her face. "And why call Shiro when you could ask your little bitch boyfriend?"

Her chest tightens, and her eyes sting with tears of frustration. "I can't do this with you, Kylo. I need help, I need Shiro. Why do you have his phone? Give him the phone, Kylo ,please. I'm begging you."

He sighs, "Where are you?"

"School." she chewing her bottom lip.

"Where do you need to go?" He sounds calmer now, like he's about to take control of the situation. Rey was not sure how that's supposed to make her feel. But what she felt is a fraction of the weight on her shoulders lifting after listening his voice.

"Avaz," Rey told him.

She heard a bell ring somewhere on his end and then a flutter of activity. "Stay where you are. I'm going to text you in a few minutes so you have my number."

"But Shiro—"

"I jacked his phone as a prank. He doesn't have to know," he explains to her. "Just sit tight, and I'll be there in a bit."

He hangs up.

X_X

She was jumpy. Her knee keeps bouncing, and she was chewing on her fingernails. She felt guilty because it's been a half hour since Rose called her, and she still sitting at school. She had texted her about the new developments without actually telling her the details.

Rey heard his engine before she sees his car. She was up and on her feet in seconds, jogging down the street to the corner. Her bag is super heavy with her books because she didn't get the chance to dump them in her locker before she charged outside like Xena Warrior Princess. When he rolls to a stop a few feet away from her, Rey felt her heart hammering away in her chest. Her stomach fills with the flutter of butterfly wings, and her skin tingles with the anticipation of his touch. It's involuntary, she swear.

When his doors click and unlock, Rey wasted no time jumping inside. "Thanks," she breathe. He nods his head and turns the car around to start for the highway. This is when she placed a hand on his knee, and he tenses up as she replied genuinely, "Really, Ben. Thank you."

Rey watched his Adam's apple move up and down in his throat as he swallows. His fingers clench around the wheel. "Yeah," he mumbles and slowly turns his head towards her. "Next time just call me. Don't call anyone else."

Before she can respond, his focus is back on the road, and he turns the stereo on. Rey slowly started to remove her hand from his leg, and like a paperweight on a wind blown piece of paper, his hand slaps down over her to anchor it in place.

Rey gasp in surprise as his fingers flex over her, and he links their hands together. She hate the way her body responds to him. Her heart picks up speed, her breathing quickens, her hands shake, and her knees lock together to keep her from rubbing her thighs against each other to get some friction.

"Ben," she pant and try to slip her hand free from his. "I can't… you know we…" Rey shake her head and bunch herself into a ball in his seat. She rested her chin on her knees and wrapped her arms around them. "I thought you were here to help me," she mumble.

He chuckles. "Doesn't mean I can't help myself, too babe."

"Please don't make this hard for me, Ben. You know I'm with Poe." she buried her face in her knees.

"For now," he grunts and turns up the volume so that the music in the car drowns out anymore possible conversation.

They continue like this all the way to the Avaz medical plaza where the women's clinic is held. It's here that Rose was schedule to abort her pregnancy, and Rey was guessing she's really upset about going through with it, but she is ready to be there for her and let her know she's done the right thing. She's too young to be a mother; she has too much potential in her future.

When Ben parks in the lot and kills the engine, Rey turn to him swiftly. "Ben," she begin while staring into his eyes, "Can you promise me something?"

He blinks once and tries to look away, but he fails and ends up clasping his hand over her. "That's a loaded question, Love." He exhales a breath of cinnamon. "What is it?"

"I need your silence," she tell him. "I need to know that I can trust you not to ask questions or tell anyone about this."

He looks at me with concern. "Who would I tell?"

She gulp. "I have a feeling you might feel the need to…"

She licked her lips and try to think of a good way to say what she suspect needs to be said. She don't want to admit it out loud, but the signs are all there. And if what she was thinking is true, then Rose is going to flip out when she sees that Kylo is the one who drove her here. Kylo will be the one to take them home. Kylo will be the one caught between two… friends?

"What am I to you, Ky-Ben?" Rey cleared her throat to try and mask her mistake.

But of course, he's caught it. She wait for him to say something about her slip and surprised when he doesn't. He just slides his arm across the back of her seat and uses his thumb to push a strand of hair behind her ear. "What do you want to be to me, baby?" he asks softly.

"I…" Rey pause and blink a few times, feeling confused. She wanted to ask him all sorts of questions, but now is not the time. "I want us to be friends." she gently take his hand away from her face and set it down between them.

He sighs and picks his hand up to rub it over his face. "Fine," he mutters. "For now," he adds with his eyes boring deeply into her.

Rey decide to take his hand between her and pull it to her chest. "Please tell me I can trust you with this, Ben. Please."

He gulps loudly and licked his lips. "You can trust me, Rey. I promise."

Rey jump forward to hug him, and as she pull him to her, she moved her mouth to his ear and whisper, "Please remember you said that."

X_X

She's not where she said she'd be when Rey finally come across her. She has been walking up and down and all around the damned building. Rey expected to find her right outside, and instead she find her across the street on a bench in the park. She looks like a frail old lady, hidden inside an extra large gray sweatshirt that she has wrapped over her bent knees.

At the moment, she's throwing crumbs from a small Cheez-It bag for the pigeons to feast on. She's the definition of melancholy, and it makes Rey's chest hurt to see her this way. She took a step toward her and turned her head to look over at the parking lot, where she knew Ben is waiting patiently. She was asking far too much of him, and she is taking advantage of the phantom hold she seem to have over him. She feel guilty, but not guilty enough to regret what she's done.

Another strep in Rose's direction, and her worn, black Converse crunch down on a twig, causing it to crack in the air like the pop of a firecracker. It startles the birds that trot around where Rose's feet should be, and a few of them fly away quickly, leaving behind a fluttering trail of feathers. Rey start to walk faster toward her because the element of surprise is now over.

"Hey," she call out and slow down her pace until she is standing right in front of her.

She refuses to look up from the bag of crackers in her hands. "Hey," she mumbles.

Rey sit down on the bench beside her and grab the crackers from her hands, tossing them into the trash beside the bench. "It was Kato Ren, right?" Rey ask as she turn her face to the sky. They won't be able to get through this conversation if they look at each other.

Rey saw her slight and shameful nod in her peripheral vision. She don't know how to respond, so she didn't. She's disappointed, but she's be a hypocrite to say so. Rey has her own version of Kato waiting in the parking lot a few yards behind them.

"You did the right thing, Rose." Rey turned her face to stare into her eyes when she said this. "Don't you dare feel guilty about it."

Her eyes squeeze shut, and she starts to cry silently. "I didn't." She hiccups, and

Rey know she's going to sob soon.

"You didn't what?" Rey ask quickly; she need her to talk as much as she can before she's unable to. "You didn't what, Rose?" Rey shake her slightly.

Big tearful Brown eyes glance up at her. "I didn't go through with it. I couldn't go through with it…" she gasps and presses a hand to her mouth before falling to pieces.

In her shock, Rey don't think to pull her to herself and give her comfort. As the best friend, that's her job. She know it is, and she is usually all for it. But she can't believe this. She can't even begin to understand why the hell she'd decide to continue an accidental pregnancy with Kato Ren of all fucking people!

She's livid! At him, at her ,and at this unborn… thing! This will ruin her! She's smart and beautiful, and she's supposed to grow up and get the hell out of here. They were supposed to get out of here. They were supposed to go to University some other snobby college. They were supposed to get their degrees in Journalism and then open up their own Review magazine so that they can openly talk shit about everyone! How are they supposed to do anything if there is a baby in the picture?

"Rey," Rose whimpers, and instinct kicks in. Instantaneously, Rey put everything on hold and reach out to pull her to her side so that she can wrap her arms around her. She's fragile and vulnerable, and she wants her to grab her and hold her and tell her that everything is going to be all right.

But Rey doesn't know that. How can she?

You, me, and a baby makes three ,Rose-Bud!

Rey tightly squeeze her to herself and kiss the top of her head. They stayed in this embrace until her back pocket buzzes. Rey know it's Ben, so she ignore it, and for a few more minutes they sit in silence, Rose and Rey .

Eventually, Rey know she was starting to push her luck with Ben's patience, so she move to stand, and she take a deep breath as she do. This is going to take some serious coaxing on her part to get Rose into Ben's car.

"Okay." Rey nibble the inside of her cheek. "So… don't freak out, but—"

Her loud snort and eye roll make her smirk and roll her eyes back at her. Yeah, don't freak out even more than you already are, Rose, she thought. Rey shook her head and take a quick glance in Ben's direction. If she don't hurry up, he might come over here, and then shit will hit the fan.

"Okay, so you know how I told you Clarissa drove me here?" Rey ask her and stare at her shoes, which suddenly fascinate her like nothing else. She doesn't respond, so she look up and see her nod her head with a concerned look on her face. She knows this is leading to undesirable information.

"Well…" Rey go right back to chewing on the inside of her cheek until it's almost raw. "I kinda… lied." she close her eyes open them slowly to see what kind of reaction she has.

It's so much worse than she expected because when Rey look at her, her eyes are wide, and her mouth is hanging open. She's staring over her shoulder in sheer panic, and her hands are clenching and unclenching around the fabric of her sweater. Rey don't need to turn around to know why she looks like that. She has reached the end of Kylo Ren's patience.

And she saw angry kylo approaching both of them


End file.
